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“Miss Evie … I mean, Evie…” a little voice coaxed me awake.
“Mmm…”
“I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?”
I startled awake, seeing Ariel standing at the edge of my bed with her doll in her arms, hugging it close to her chest.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?”
“There’s a monster under my bed. He’s trying to get me. Can I sleep with you? Pretty please?”
“There are no monsters under your bed. They’re not real.”
“Yeah, they’re not real for grown-ups, but they are for little kids.”
I nodded. “Fair.”
Smiling, I scooted over for her, and she jumped into my bed. I was surprised she came into my bedroom and not her father’s. Although, since our conversation that evening, she was suddenly my new best friend. Sticking to me like glue.
I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame, pulling her close against my body. Ariel sighed peacefully, leaning into my embrace. We both fell fast asleep.
Sometime later during the night, I felt like someone was staring at us, and my eyes popped open. No one was there, but I couldn’t shake the feeling, finding it hard to fall back asleep.
The alarm on my phone woke us both up at seven in the morning. After I showered and got the kids ready for the day, I left them in the playroom to go cook breakfast for us like I did every day.
They weren’t technically allowed playtime until noon, but I didn’t care. They were kids. I let them play before they had to start their strenuous routine for the day. Ariel usually looked at her picture books while Ethan played with his Legos until I called them down for breakfast through the speaker system in the estate.
Typically, as I cooked, I thought about my day ahead. I never expected to be in this role, which made me feel like I was more than a nanny as the days went on. From day one, I treated Caleb’s kids like they were my own. The crazy thing was, a huge part of me felt as if they were.
Trust me, I was fully aware of how insane that sounded, but it didn’t take away the emotions I instinctively had for them. I wanted to protect Ethan and Ariel any way I possibly could. Even if it meant going against their father if I had to. Caleb was still the same man he’d been for almost two months now.
Always working, never around.
I spent a lot of time thinking about his absence from their lives, knowing this wasn’t the Caleb Hawkins I knew and fell in love with all those years ago.
Or maybe it was, and I was just oblivious to it?
Time was all they needed, and it was the one thing he wouldn’t give up for them.
What kind of father does that?
The more I thought about it, the further it infuriated me. Especially since his kids were so well behaved. Seriously, they were angels. If Caleb’s mother was truly helping him raise his children, then they had done a hell of a good job.
All these thoughts and emotions plagued my mind on the daily. I went from not talking to or seeing Caleb for years, to sleeping with him at my brother’s vow renewal, to now caring for his children. It wasn’t that I was unfit for the role I’d stepped into, but it was more of the fact that I never really gave parenthood much thought before this.
I guess I never considered having kids of my own…
I mean, I’d dated on and off throughout the years, but it wasn’t anything serious. Nothing more than meaningless fun. I worked a lot. Overnight, my business had become my baby, and I was happy prioritizing that. It was the most important thing in my life aside from Jax and his family.
One reason why I never considered settling down and having a family of my own was because I never had one growing up. It wasn’t a major fixture in my life like it was for most kids. Particularly, little girls. I didn’t fantasize about finding Prince Charming or buying a home with a white picket fence.
Which was yet another reason why I resented Caleb in reference to his children. He was doing the same thing my parents did to me. I had to grow up alone, having to always take care of myself. It wasn’t easy, and I grew up fast. I learned early on that I couldn’t depend on anyone but myself. Not even my parents.
I saw a lot of myself in Ethan and Ariel, and it hurt me in ways I didn’t see coming…
My mind was spinning as I made my way into the kitchen, and I came to a complete stop when I saw Caleb sitting at the kitchen island with his laptop on the counter.
“Whoa.” I stepped back, shocked. “What are you still doing here?”
