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“Tessa doesn’t tell me much, Evie.”
“Then why did you sleep with her?”
“Darlin’, I don’t even remember fucking her. It was weeks before your birthday, and I wanted to do something special for you. You already had everything because Jax made sure of it. I was going to offer you the only thing I could. Me. But with that came the realization of how much I’d hurt you, and I started second guessing myself. Fucking drank my weight in whiskey, then I somehow ended up at your apartment. I walked into your bedroom, and she was in your bed, but I thought it was you. All I remember is waking up the next morning with her in my arms.”
My heart was pounding against my chest.
Loud.
Hard.
Beating into my head.
“I threw her off me. We fought and before I left, I threatened her. I told her to keep her mouth shut, or I’d make her pay. It’s why I stayed away from you. I couldn’t bring myself to face you after what I did. Weeks later, she ended up at my place telling me she was pregnant. I didn’t believe it was mine until we took a paternity test, proving it was.” He grabbed my face. “I swear to you the only reason I married her was because of Jax. I couldn’t let you lose him too.”
“Ugh!” I abruptly stood, suddenly pissed as fuck. “After all this time? All these years? You hid this from me?!”
“Evie—”
“No! This is bullshit! You have no idea what I went through! For years, Caleb, I hated you! I still fucking hate you!”
“You don’t mean that. You’re just mad at me.”
“I’m more than mad at you, Caleb! I’m fucking furious!”
“I understand. Trust me, I’m fucking livid too!”
“Oh, no! You don’t get to play that card!”
“Evie, I lov—”
“I hate that you made me feel so alone for so many years! I hate that I missed you every single day you weren’t with me! I hate that I felt like I was this pathetic little girl chasing you around, praying you would love her!”
“I fucked up. I know that. Don’t you think I know that? I lost you too, darlin’. It’s why I stayed away while we were married. I couldn’t see you because if I did, I would have told you the truth! Screamed it from the fucking rooftops, and then what? Huh?”
“I would have fought for you. I did fight for you!”
“I fought for you too, Evie.”
“Bullshit! All you did was hurt me, and now you just expect me to forgive you like it’s nothing! Like you didn’t ruin me for every other man who came into my life!”
“I wish I’d known that six years ago, but then my baby girl wouldn’t be here, and I wouldn’t give up my kids for anything. Despite the shitty fucking hand I was dealt with Tessa, she gave me Ethan and Ariel, and I wouldn’t change that for anything. They’re my everything.”
“What does Ariel have to do with me?”
“I saw you out at a bar one night. You were with this guy who had his hands all over you. I was seconds away from tearing him off you except you were smiling, laughing, soaking it all up. I couldn’t face the reality that I may have lost you, so again, I drank away my sorrow. The next morning, I woke up with Tessa. We didn’t sleep in the same bed. We never did. In my eyes, it wasn’t a real marriage.”
“Oh, I see… So you fucked your wife and then knocked her up again, and it’s suddenly my fault. What about all the other times you had sex with her? Am I to blame for those too?”
“I’ve fucked Tessa twice, and both times I don’t remember it.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Why would I lie to you? Now? After all this?”
“Because all you do is lie! You lied to Jax! You lied to me! You lied to yourself about not wanting me! I can’t tell the difference between your truths and lies!” I didn’t hesitate in spewing, “But here’s another truth for you! I hated you, Caleb Hawkins! Do you understand me? I still fucking hate you! But mostly...” I paused, reconsidering if I was really going to be honest with him.
Throwing caution to the wind, I yelled, “I hate that I have to lie to you about having a boyfriend in order to pretend like I don’t love you anymore! Because the truth is, the biggest hatred I have in my heart is that I can’t stop loving you!”
