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“Without assistance?”
“I….” she pauses and lifts her hand to her mouth, beginning to bite her nails. “I snuck past them, and I needed them quickly, and it was kind of an emergency.”
I debate whether to press on with my questions, but I know what it feels like to be pushed to answer something you don’t want to. Also, as I’ve previously thought, we can’t waste our energy on unnecessary emotions. We need all the strength we can get for tomorrow.
How clueless could she be, though? Leaving the compound alone, even for a soldier, is dangerous. Not only are there threats to physical safety, but there can be scouts from other clans looking for information. If you’re lucky, you’ll get attacked. If you’re unfortunate, you’ll get kidnapped.
To be fair, I had also left the compound on my own. I pride myself on my keen awareness of what’s happening around me, and I believe I could detect a threat from a mile away, as I did by noticing her blood and listening for the wolves.
“You know they’re there for a reason,” I state firmly, looking into the fire.
“What are?” she asks quietly.
“The guards. You should listen to them more often. They’re not there to hold you hostage; they’re there to protect you.”
“Well, they could have a little more faith in a woman,” she comments as she scoffs.
“We wouldn’t be here if you had listened to them,” I snap.
I look at her and see remorse rush over her face. Fuck, I went too far with that comment. I debate trying to walk it back, but I have an issue with my pride hindering me from doing things like that.
“So, you blame me?” she asks sadly.
I don’t answer her. At first, I think of course, I do. I didn’t have a choice but to save her- she put me in that position. As the moments go on, my pride begins to fade, and empathy creeps into my thoughts.
I didn’t have a destination when I was walking, anyway. There was no way she would have known that wolves would attack her; she was just looking for herbs, and who knows what the emergency was that made her need them so badly? I didn’t have anything else to do that day andwantedto save her. I could have easily walked away at any point; when I spotted the blood, when I saw her through the bushes, even once I distracted the wolves, but I didn’t. Why didn’t I?
I continue thinking in circles until I realize how long I’ve been silent. I feel guilty about her thinking she did something wrong, and I’m upset with her. Sadness can drain our energy just as much as anger or fear.
“No,” I say softly as I look at her. “I don’t blame you.”
She purses her lips and nods slowly. I catch a glimpse of her body from the lights of the candles and fire around her. She can’t weigh more than 120 lbs and is short for a human woman. If she went into a lake, a small minnow could snap her in half if it wanted to.
If she had proper fighting training, I wouldn’t be so concerned. She did step correctly when the wolves were circling her, but she should have known that situation warranted flight, not fight.
Also, how did she not hear them coming?Okay, stop.I think to myself as I shake my head. I’m judgmental of her, and I know nothing about her. This is my pride getting the best of me again, and I feel like I’m puffing myself up, and I can’t understand why. Still, I feel concerned for her and want to help her, so she doesn’t wind up in this situation again.
“This could easily happen to you again,” I begin seriously. “You should be staying within the clan's protection at all times. There are worse things than a pack of wolves out here, and even those seem to be getting more intelligent.”
“What do you mean?” she asks quickly.
“About which part?”
“The wolves.”
I sigh and shake my head. “I’ve never seen them move like that before, and the way they stalked you and moved in formations….it’s highly unlike them.”
“I was thinking that too!” she exclaims, throwing her hands up in a shrug. “Aren’t they known for just attacking when they see prey? Why did they try to intimidate me like that?”
“I don’t know,” I respond as I rub the back of my head. “But there has been an increase in attacks lately, not just from the wolves, but other creatures, too. Now is not the time to run off and put yourself in danger.”
She nods and pulls her knees close to her chest on the couch. “I know….” She pauses and exhales slowly. “It was stupid, and I do regret it. I thought it would be quick that I could find the herbs and then dart back to camp before anyone noticed I was gone.”
“Your courage should be proportionate to your size and capabilities,” I reply, knowing my words seem cutting, but she needs to hear this. “You’re short and have a thin build. This isn’t bad, but it doesn’t bode well for battle. Also, you should think about how much fight training you have. I noticed you did pivot steps when they were surrounding you, and that was good, but you need more than that to survive on your own against any creature that comes across your path. Sticks can be easily broken.”
“Are you saying I’m a stick?” she asks playfully, her mouth open and slightly grinning in shock.
“I’m saying you’re a twig,” I joke back as I laugh with her.
