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Suddenly, I’m startled by Dana screaming. I look in her direction, and she jumps on me, clinging to my neck and wrapping her legs around my hips. I instinctively grab onto her, looking over her shoulder and seeing no movement around us.
What the fuck?I think as I look at her burying her head in my chest.
6
DANA
Ileap onto Hurian and wrap my legs around him as I bury my head in his chest. My heart is racing, and I debate raising my head and checking if the menace is still there. I try to, but I’m too scared. I bury it into his chest again before I realize what I’m doing.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize as I notice the confused and fearful look in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
I can tell he’s trying to keep his voice calm and not talk to me like I’m insane. I snap back into reality from my panic and feel his strong arms holding me. I look at him and exhale, trying to figure out how to tell him I leaped on him because of a damn cockroach. I drum up the bravery to look behind me and see if the creature is still on the floor.
“I….” I pause, knowing how insane this is about to sound. “I saw a cockroach.”
“A cockroach?” he says surprisedly, losing the ability to not talk to me like I’m crazy.
I step down and clear my throat as I avert my gaze from him. I can feel his eyes on me, but I can’t look at him after my embarrassing act.
It’s not only the creepy-crawly nature of them that gets me. Every time I see one, I get flashbacks of being locked in a small compartment with them running all over me. When those triggers hit, or I see one, I remember exactly how they felt crawling all over my bare skin.
It was terrible, barely being able to see anything around you, but knowing there must be hundreds of tiny creatures in your vicinity. I often remember trying to think of a number when I was locked in there. Maybe it was a craving for control that I had in an odd sense; if I knew how many there were, perhaps it would have made it easier for me to take my situation into my own hands.
It’s transformed into a phobia now. Not only do I feel like they’re crawling all over me when I see one, but I also feel like it’s hard to breathe. My vision goes dark, and I dissociate from everything around me. My body goes into fight or flight but tries to fly from the memories instead of reality. It’s something I wish I had a better hold on because of moments like this where to outside people who don’t know my story, I look like a complete idiot.
“I’m so sorry about that,” I say to him as I walk away from him. “It’s just a weird fear of mine. I’m sorry.”
I know that’s a shitty explanation, but I’m trapped here with him for the night and don’t need him looking at me as a pesky human who can’t handle herself. I’m sure I’ve already accidentally given off that impression a few times today.
“It’s, uh…” he pauses as he looks at the fire awkwardly, then back at me. “It’s fine, just try to relax. You need all the energy you can get.” He points at my leg. “And we don’t want that bandage to come off and your wound to get infected.”
I want to bite back with a comment about how he won’t let me inspect his leg but hold myself back. I don’t understand why he’s been so cold about me taking care of him. His wound could get infected just as quickly, and I wonder if this ‘independent man’ thing he has is doing him much good.
I follow his suggestion and sit on the couch as he meanders around the house. I remain silent and watch him, curious about what he’ll do next to help us survive the night. He walks to the bedroom, and I hear dresser drawers opening and closing. While he’s gone, I think about the pack of wolves.
Why didn’t they kill me when they had the chance? It felt like they wanted to feed off my fear more than my body. Why spend all that time stalking and intimidating me if they just wanted a meal?
Maybe I wasn’t enough meat for them, and they just wanted to play a game. Either that or perhaps they wanted to investigate me somehow. Everything I’ve learned about wolves has taught me that they’re bloodthirsty and will attack on sight; this situation felt different.
When Hurian returns, he wears a white tunic shirt and loose white pants. He carries his wet clothes by the fire and drops them on a nearby table before he hands me a change of clothes.
“Bring your wet clothes to me after you change,” he tells me, a sweet twinge coming from his voice. “I’m going to make a clothesline so we can dry ours out by the fire.”
“Thank you.”
I look at him and notice the amber and gold swirling in his eyes. They’re captivating, and as I take the clothes from him, I feel more empathy coming from his being than I have before. I wonder what’s underneath his tough exterior as I walk to the bedroom and change.
The air hits my cold body as I strip off my wet clothes. The new ones stick to the remaining wetness on my body, but it feels like a warm blanket when I put the fresh linen shirt and pants on.
I walk back to the living room and see that Hurian has used some twine and tied it to either side of the fireplace. I walk over and hand him my clothes. Barely looking at me, he takes them from me and hangs my shirt and pants next to his over the fire.
Sitting on the couch, I wonder why he seems so avoidant of me. Is it because I almost died right in front of him, or is there something else that makes him avoid humans or women? Since we’re stuck together, I might as well try to get to know him more.
“What were you doing in the woods?” I ask gently.
He sighs and looks into the fire. “Thinking.”
