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Taking out the picture I’ve carried around for as long as I could remember, I stared at my daughter Elizabeth’s, smiling face. Her beautiful dark chocolate hair glistened in the sun as her eyes, the color of the sky, sparkled while she smiled beautifully, showing off a missing tooth. I made a mental note to get the picture updated. My daughter was growing like a weed. As much as I loved this picture and wished like hell she would stay little, she was growing into a beautiful young lady.
I took this picture when she was five years old. I took her to the beach for the first time. It was a beautiful, perfect day. I thought she was the most beautiful little girl in the world. The best part about my little girl was that she looked absolutely nothing like me. Then again, she wouldn’t. She wasn’t biologically mine. Not that it mattered. She was my baby girl. She was the one right thing I did in my world. Too bad all the rights I did in my life with her wouldn’t erase all the bad.
And God help me, there was a lot of bad.
My life wasn’t always with the Golden Skulls. For a long time, I traveled around, belonging to no one. I was a Nomad. A lone biker who pledged allegiance to no one. It was a solitary life. The freedom of the open road, no commitments, no one demanding I do shit. Just me, my bike and the open road. I’d probably still be a nomad if it weren’t for my daughter. For her alone, I stayed put. It was a change. One I still struggled with. I hated being couped up in small spaces. I hated not being able to jet off into the sunset. Mostly, I hated knowing that for the next eight years; I belonged to someone other than myself.
Not since I was sixteen, did I have that feeling. When it dissipated, I made myself a promise to never offer more than I was willing to give. I lived by that rule for years until my baby girl arrived. Instead of doing what she deserved, I went back on my promise and kept her.
It was the best decision I ever made to date.
Soft laughter tickled my ears, causing me to look up as I spotted the pretty young woman laughing with the ol’ ladies. She was stunning, with long blonde hair that settled at the tiniest waist I’d ever seen. She had striking blue eyes that looked like clear cobalt glass. Pert breasts and curves in all the right places. Soft full lips and creamy milky white skin.
Beautiful.
From the moment she first arrived, I knew she was trouble. There was something about her that drew me to her like bees to honey and before I knew it, I sought her out just to see one of her smiles. I was old enough to be her father, but fuck me, I couldn’t stop myself from staring at her. She was young and had her whole life ahead of her. I’d been with many women in my life, but none ever captured my attention like her. I never claimed to be a decent man. When the itch became too much, I gave into my urges, but not with her.
Not the nanny.
There was something about the woman that called to me on some elemental level. I couldn’t explain it. I tried to stay away from her, only to seek her out. She mesmerized me. The way she floated about the clubhouse, how sweet she sounded when she talked with the brothers, how happy she was to help anyone, how loving she was with Samuel and the other kids. Made for loving, the woman was everything good in the world.
Too bad I would never be on the receiving end of that.
She wasn’t mine.
She belonged to Matrix.
Well, she belonged to Samuel.
She was Samuel’s nanny.
Linsey Adams.
At age twenty-four, she was untarnished from the life I led. I was grateful for that, too. I couldn’t imagine her in my life. She deserved better than some old, forty-three-year-old grungy biker who carried too much death and baggage on his shoulders.
Unlike most of my brothers, I spent most of my life on the road. I never settled down. I couldn’t. There was no place for someone like me. There never would be. The only reason I was with the Golden Skulls was because of my daughter, and when she turned eighteen, I knew I would hit the road again.
My life was exactly as I told Reaper that day in church.
I came from money. Had buckets of it, but all the money in the world couldn’t give me back what I lost. Nothing could. I had thought about settling down many times over the years, especially when Elizabeth was born, but something always stopped me. I couldn’t explain it. The need for the open road and the wind in my face overrode every good intention I had.
The only reason I was still with the club was because of my daughter, who had taken to the ol’ ladies and club life. She loved it here and begged me to let her stay. I never could refuse her anything. So, I stayed, when all I wanted to do was get on my bike and ride off into the sunset.
I hated being idle.
I needed something to do. Something to occupy my time. I was a talented mechanic, but that wasn’t what I wanted to do. The fact was, I did not know. For so long, I spent my days riding the open road, doing whatever I wanted. Now, that wasn’t an option anymore, not with my daughter here. My kid needed stability and though the school I bought for her would give her that, it was no longer what she wanted.
Over the years, I provided handsomely for my little girl. I made sure she had everything she ever needed or wanted. The sky was the limit for her. All she had to do was ask for it and I would move mountains to make sure she got it.
Now she wanted a family. She wanted a life I didn’t know how to give her. I never had a typical family. I knew my parent’s loved me but when they died, my life changed. My grandfather raised me after that and when he died, I was alone. No siblings, no aunts, uncles, not even a distant relative. I’d been on my own since I was sixteen.
I didn’t know any other way.
Until my Elizabeth.
How could I give my baby girl the family she wanted if I never had it or experienced it? I was at a loss. Yeah, I was a biker who had a daughter. Unlike most bikers, I passed off the responsibility of raising my baby girl to a school and ensured that she had plenty of female role models to learn from. I was just a man. What did I know about raising a little girl? I could barely take care of myself most days. When shit got too much for me, I hopped on my bike and rode. I couldn’t do that if I was looking after Elizabeth. She would need me twenty-four-seven. No one had ever needed me before. Well, not like she did. I wanted to ship her back to her school, but I couldn’t do that to her.
“You look like you’re about to bolt,” my friend Jules said, sitting down next to me wiping her hands on a red grease rag. I had met Jules on one of my many travels. A mechanic by trade, Jules owned her own garage in West Virginia. A grease monkey like her father, Jules, knew everything about bikes and cars. There wasn’t a motorized vehicle that Jules couldn’t fix. So, it was a shock when she arrived with a few others from the cult compound in Oregon.
