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“I don’t have a moment and even if I fucking did, darlin’, I wouldn’t be givin’ it to you.”
I had no words.
He continued staring at me, the smoke of his eyes swirling around me, leaking toxic hatred.
This man didn’t even know me.
I didn’t know him.
Yet, he was treating me like I was the scum under his left boot.
I sucked in a breath, my chest rising and falling between us.
He wasn’t breathing. He was just staring at me, those eyes filled with hatred. Swallowing the lump in my throat and biting the inside of my lip to keep it from quivering, I pushed him back again. He didn’t move this time.
I looked to my feet. “Mr. Langston, if you would like to me leave, then I need you to please move.”
He grunted and pushed off the car. When I looked up, he was walking away, heading back into the barn. With his back to me, I let my lip tremble. I got in the car, checked my mirrors, put in the directions to my hotel and I took off.
On the ride back into town, I didn’t take in the beauty of the land around me. I didn’t have a smile on my face, and the hope I had yesterday deflated in my chest. I had failed.
I failed the company—which I didn’t really care about. Honestly, they could kick rocks, but it paid the bills, and I needed those taken care of.
I failed my mom.
Without the Langston deal, the future was murky.
I only had enough money to pay for another five months of treatment.
I failed in getting the Hallow Ranch.
Therefore, I was failing at keeping my mom alive.
Tears flooded my vision and I had to pull over on the side of the road. I think I was outside of that awful man’s property, but even if I wasn’t, he could kick rocks too. It was dangerous to cry while driving.
I put the car in park and buried my face in my hands. Then, I let it out. Every few weeks or so, I would do this.
I called it,emptying the emotion tank.
You can only bottle stuff up for so long and there was no point in trying to convince yourself otherwise. Your body would expel that negativity one way or another.
So, once a month, I would cry. Ugly cry. I’m talking ruin your make-up that you spent two hours on to empress the owner of a ranch kind of cry.
I cried for my mom.
I cried because she had to have someone help her get to her garden in the back yard.
I cried for the life that she was missing out on.
I cried for the flower shop she had to give up.
I cried for the children I would have someday who would never get to see their grandma.
I cried because I was a stupid woman who didn’t have what it took to stand up to a man like Denver Langston.
I cried because he called me a bitch.
Then, I cried because Ilet that get to me.Stuff like that never got to me.
