Page 17 of Love and Horns


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“What makes you think it was my first?” I shoot back, running my tongue along my lips to finish off any remnants before picking up the next shot.

“Uh uh, you can’t pick that one up,” he says, moving towards me and blocking my arms from raising the shot any higher.

“Wait what?”

“This is a blow job shot. No hands allowed.”

His closeness and the words “blow job” coming from his lips instantly heat my body from the inside out. Wait, maybe that’s just the ginger slut hitting my bloodstream.

I place the whipped cream-topped shot back on the table. I feel BK come up next to me, his fingers brushing against my neck before I realize what he is doing. He wraps his hand around the hair around my face, kinked and wavy from taking out my braids. If I had known there would be a blow job tonight I might have brought a hair tie. The feeling of him holding my hair while I perform such an act makes my mind race to dirty places, and I can’t help it from going there.

Taking the shot is a nightmare. I am distracted by his hand in my hair and I practically choke on the whipped cream as it slides down. I barely grab the shot glass before it falls out of my mouth to crash back on the table. And I know for a fact that I have whipped cream on half of my face.

The smug smile BK wears brings back the heat I thought I felt earlier, except now I know it’s from the burning hatred I have in my soul for him.

Last up, the toxic green whatever that is. It looks disgusting and smells so bizarre.

“Can I use my hands for this one?” I ask. He gives me a nod as if to tell me to proceed.

My head tips back and the sour taste engulfs my mouth, tingling against my tongue. The familiar taste of acidic vinegar clicks in my head. Pickle juice.

“Last but not least, the Pickleback.”

I grab Lacey’s arm, pulling her towards an open area in front of the bar to get a break from being around him. Ugh, he’s so annoying and if he wasn’t my boss, I would have for sure punched him in the throat by now. Or run him over with a city bus. I wonder if I need a special license for that.

We dance and sway to the mix of pop from ten years ago and newer country. It’s not ideal bar dancing music, but it’s getting the job done. There isn’t a dance floor at Orion since it is also a restaurant. But the owner closes down a small section of the restaurant so that bar patrons have more room to mingle.

And flirt.

And maybe make out in the dark corner.

Not that I have ever done that of course. But I have heard about it and witnessed it a time or two myself.

After a few minutes, I instantly feel sick. It can’t be the alcohol, I only had one drink before the three shots and that’s not enough to get me that plastered so fast. I try and keep up appearances as I feel the sweat starting to gather on my brows, my forehead dampening with each passing second.

I can’t pretend anymore before I am hauling myself quickly to the bathroom, not a word to Lacey about where I was going or why. I’m sure she put two and two together though, she’s smarter than you think.

Do you know what happens when you puke up red and green? Vomit in the weirdest hue I have ever seen. There isn’t much in my stomach to evacuate and the bile mixed with pickle juice leaves a deep burn in my throat. This is turning into such a lovely experience, so glad I decided to invite everyone out so that I could puke in a random toilet.

I want nothing more than to be puking right on BK’s shoes. He knew what he was doing by serving me that disgusting mix of alcohol. And now, as I hug the porcelain throne in the bathroom, I begin plotting my revenge.

Igetonsetearly with my usual coffee order for BK and a few extra things in my backpack. I know being here at this time I will have access to the set without any company. Better no one else is witness to the things I have planned, that way no one can rat me out if questioned.

My first stop is BK’s mini office space. He doesn’t get much but there is a private bathroom in there that I know is weirdly enough his pride and joy. Why are men so strange about bathrooms? They have entire rule books about when you are allowed to stand next to a stall, use a stall, and even where you can look while you pee. And they say women are crazy for going to the bathroom in pairs.

I brought a special roll of toilet paper just for him. It isn’t the extra soft kind that he demands. Not to mention, I took the liberty of scoring along the roll to prevent anyone from getting more than two squares at a time. If he needs to wipe, he will have to work for it. I also ensure it’s mullet-style on the roll holder to seal in the anger. Everyone knows beard style is the only right way.

As I leave the bathroom, I spot the mini fridge I have visited multiple times to fetch an energy drink. This wasn’t originally one of my targets, but now I have to find a way to sabotage it. An army of cans stand at attention when I open the door.

Digging around in my bag, I find a small container of thumbtacks. I had originally planned to plant them on his chair, but I have a differnet plan now. I grab a few cans, heavier than I expected, and haul them into the bathroom. Holding each can over the sink, I push the pin into the bottom, allowing the fluid to drain. I work quickly knowing I don’t have much time left and getting caught would be catastrophic.

When my hand reaches for the doorknob, it starts to turn without my influence. Crap! This is it, I am about to get caught. Think fast, Carter. I arrange myself quickly on his small couch across from his desk, acting casually as if I came in here to meet with him. It’s not like the door was locked and I broke in.

I do my best to look calm and collected as BK comes in, not noticing me at first.

“Fuck, Carter, why are you in here? And why are you here so early?” He questions rapid fire. I think quickly on my feet. Unfortunately, my story isn’t one I wanted to come out of my mouth right now. Think fast Carter doesn’t have a proper filter.

“I needed to see you.” Wow, I sound desperate. “I wanted to apologize for my behavior the other night. I shouldn’t have challenged you that way in front of my colleagues. I hope we can move forward and stay civil the rest of the shoot.” Nailed it!

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