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He reaches for my elbow, but I jerk away. “I’m fine. I have somewhere I can go.”
“We’re friends.” Hurt flashes across his face, a bolt of lightning ahead of a summer storm. “Don’t lie to me.”
Erin. She’ll let me spend the night. “I’m not.”
“I’m not letting you sleep in your goddamn car.”
“Let me? You’re not my father.” I snort. “You’re not my fucking boyfriend, either.”
He doesn’t rise to the bait. He just shakes his head, calm as always. “We’ll talk about this at the house.”
“No.”
“Outside the bar, then.”
I glance around. His baseball buddies sprawl across two of the red leather booths, laughing, beers in hand. They must have come in while I was focusing on my maybe-hookup, and Sebastian saw what was going on. “What, afraid they’ll overhear?”
His expression softens slightly. “I won’t make your business everyone’s business. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
I let him lead me outside.
He leans against the brick wall outside the bar, concern radiating from him like a beacon. I dig in my purse for my phone. One night with Erin, and then maybe I’ll work up the courage to ask Penny if she can talk to her dad. It’s not that I don’t like her father, he’s a nice guy—I just didn’t want to impose, to assume to be close enough to Penny to ask for that kind of favor. She’s the first true friend I’ve had in years, and I don’t want to do anything to ruin that.
“Come to the house with me,” Sebastian says. “No one needs to know unless you want them to. You can sleep in Izzy’s pink monstrosity of a bedroom, and I won’t bother you, I promise. I have a game tomorrow, so I’ll be up and out early.”
I became casual friends with Izzy over the past semester, and I’ve been in her bedroom before. Her bed is ridiculously comfortable, albeit very pink. I barely slept the night before, in that stupid, sticky dorm room, and the thought of conking out amid all those silk throw pillows is more than a little tempting.
If not for the fact that Sebastian’s bedroom is next door.
“I can’t pay you anything for it,” I say.
“I don’t want your money.”
I shake my head. “And I can’t take advantage of you like that.”
“Wouldn’t be taking advantage.” He leans in, and by the way he raises his hand before stuffing it into his pocket, I’d bet that twenty he just left on the bar that part of him wants to pull me into a hug. I’d almost managed to forget about his propensity for physical touch. I ought to scramble away, to safety, but I can’t bring myself to move. He’s close enough that I can feel his breath on my ear. “But if it makes you feel better, you wouldn’t stay for free. I’d need you to tell me something.”
I will my voice to become steel. “Tell you what?”
He pulls back far enough that our gazes meet. I wonder if he has this same intensity on his face when he’s in the batter’s box. The sun has slipped below the horizon, so his face is half-bathed in the streetlamp's light, one eye dark, the other illuminated. He’s achingly handsome. Practically golden. My heart thrums from his nearness. My body clenches traitorously, sending heat to places that are all too hard to ignore.
“Why you said you’d go on a date with me, then stood me up.”
11
SEBASTIAN
Four or so hours aftersaying goodnight to Mia, I’m still awake, staring at the ceiling, watching as a spider makes its way across the lightly textured surface. Cooper, if he saw it, wouldn’t be able to rest—he’d find a way to trap it and take it outside immediately. I don’t mind letting it hang out with me. It makes the night a little less lonely.
I should have known that if I brought Mia home, I wouldn’t be able to sleep. Sometimes, it comes easily, but all too often, my mind refuses to relax. I used to think that it was because of the nightmares—dreading them, begging my mind not to succumb to them, only to wake up with a scream in my throat—but now I’m not sure. Maybe it’s something chemical.
Regardless, I’m wide awake, with only a spider for company. Tangerine is in Izzy’s room; she trotted after Mia the moment she went to bed.
She’s down the hall, safe and fast asleep, and that ought to bring me comfort, but my mind hasn’t stopped racing since I saw her with that prick at the bar.
Logically, I know she’s allowed to do whatever the hell she wants. We aren’t dating, and we never actually did.
In that moment?
