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My stomach twists into a knot, aching for release, for that moment of pure clarity as my body spins out in pleasure, but even adding a third finger just makes me whine with frustration. Memories crowd my mind like wishes. I can almost pretend that he’s here with me, watching with that quiet, addictive intensity. In my fantasy, I’m teasing him, making him stay put as I touch myself. He’s indulging it, letting me put on a show, but if I go too long without letting him take care of me, he’ll spank me beforemaybeletting me come.
The first time he did that, I nearly came untouched. It was so surprising, to feel the bloom of pain, to hear his velvet-soft voice as he told me to be a good girl and take it. And after, when my ass was stinging and pleasure burned through me like wildfire, he cradled my jaw and told me to open my mouth, that I had to get his dick nice and wet before he fucked me.
I give my head a shake. I need to stop getting lost in moments of time that I can’t get back. I don’t like him anymore—Ican’tlike him anymore.
If I could just take the edge off…
Yet another moan rips itself from my throat as I plunge my fingers in and out. “Sebastian—”
“Angel?”
I freeze. That wasn’t my imagination. I glance at the door, still shut tightly.
“Seb?” My whole body erupts with heat so intense that I wouldn’t be surprised if I started glowing. I swallow the sudden lump in my throat as I pull my shorts up, wiping my fingers on my shirt for lack of a better option. “What are you doing?”
“If you needed help, you could’ve just asked.”
Mother of Christ. I take a deep breath, sliding off the bed. “Go to bed.”
“Can I open the door?”
I inch closer, until I can rest my head against the door. Somehow, knowing he’s on the other side is making me ache even more. Did I wake him? Is his hair all mussed? Is he wearing pajamas? How long has he been there, listening to me? “I… I don’t know.”
“You sound frustrated. Let me help.”
I nearly snap that Iamfrustrated, but manage to rein it in. “That’s not a good idea.”
“It’s past midnight.” His voice is even softer than before. “Let me in, Mia.”
I can hear the implication in the words. Past midnight means it doesn’t count, come morning—something I told him on more than one occasion.
I shouldn’t let him in. Nothing whispered in the dark stays there, in the end.
Yet I open the door.
He’s shirtless, with a pair of gray sweatpants slung low on his hips. His hair is a messy tangle, falling into his eyes. There’s a hint of a smile on his face, but it fades as we look at each other, breathing into the quiet. I hear my heart beating as if it’s outside my body.
He’s beautiful. I want to touch him so badly, the urge rolls from my fingertips all the way to my toes.
He takes my hand, squeezes it, and then presses a rough kiss to my palm.
“Please,” he says.
I can’t speak. I don’t want to ruin it by saying something sharp and uncalled for. This is a bad idea—but I’ve always liked bad ideas. This is reckless—but I’ve never liked being reckless more than when I’m with him.
I nod.
He pulls me to his bedroom. As if worried I’m going to change my mind, he kisses me before we’re even over the threshold, his big, warm hands coming up to frame either side of my face. The bruising crush of his lips against mine ignites the rest of my resolve; I’m the one who pushes him to the bed. I climb into his lap, grinding against him. He retaliates by palming my bottom. The squeeze of his hand makes me break off our kiss with a moan, and he huffs out a laugh.
“This doesn’t mean anything,” I say, breathless because he’s skimming his hand up my t-shirt. He cups my breast and squeezes, those rough fingertips I haven’t been able to stop thinking about teasing my nipple.
“Sure, Mia Angel. Whatever you say.”
The familiar wordplay makes me swallow.Mia Angel, my angel.“You’re the one who was listening in on me.”
“Wasn’t exactly hard,” he drawls, pinching my ass for good measure. “In fact, I remember you being exactly that loud. Not usually that frustrated, though.”
At least it’s dark in here. Harder to see my blush. “I was making do with my fingers.”
