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His focus remained trained on her. “You were plotting an escape?”
He seemed quite stuck on the idea. “I needed to come find you. I didn’t want Henri to use me against you ever again.”
Grayson’s unreadable eyes softened. “Thank you. I have to admit, though, I rather hate the idea of you trying to escape on your own.”
“To be perfectly honest, I didn’t like the idea either. But I needed to reach you. Especially because you were in Duvan, and . . .”
“I was with Desfan.”
Her brother’s name punched her with painful force, and she couldn’t hide a wince. Her family, her life before . . . all of it had been obliterated by the pain of Papa’s beatings when she was seven years old and newly imprisoned. Fear, panic, and even guilt had kept it at bay ever since. Sometimes she dreamed of home, but they were such painful dreams, they were really nightmares. Usually they were just visions of a life she’d never have again. A father who held her. A mother who sang to her. A sister who played with her hair. A brother who taught her to swim.
The knowledge that Grayson had seen Desfan, and spoken to him . . . it was almost too much to comprehend. Her feelings were too complex to sort through. Grayson had been in Mortise—in the palace that had once been her home. He knew who she was; a secret she’d held for nine years, because the truth was too painful, especially since hercaretakershad beaten her whenever she talked about who she really was.
Grayson had figured out the truth. And he’d gone to Desfan—her brother.Desfan had sent Grayson to bring her home.
Home.She didn’t even know what that was anymore. Not with their parents dead, and Tahlyah, too. And Desfan didn’t know the truth. He didn’t know Mia was responsible for their sister’s death. That horrible night, she’d lost Tally in the water. No matter what reassurances Grayson had given her when she’d admitted her deepest secret, she knew it was her fault Tally was dead. Desfan would never forgive her when he learned the truth.
Her heart pounded, and panic spiked.
“Mia?” Grayson stepped closer, his voice pitched low. “Are you all right?”
She pinched her eyes closed and took a deep breath, ignoring the tightness in her chest. Denial had saved her so often during the past nine years, and she clung to that now. She couldn’t think about Tahlyah, or Desfan—she couldn’t think about who she’d once been.
The tension inside her settled. She opened her eyes and met Grayson’s worried gaze. “I never did make a solid plan for getting out of the castle, but we can use the supplies I gathered. I suppose we may need more, since there are two of us.”
It was clear Grayson didn’t want to follow her subject change, when she remained troubled by something. But—as always—he deferred to what she needed. He glanced around the room. “Where are they?”
A small knot tightened in her chest. “Oh. They’re in Tyrell’s room. Under his bed.”
Grayson shot her a look.
She hurried to explain. “After Tyrell killed Papa, he carried me to his room. It was closer than the physician’s ward, and I was . . .”Dying.Probably best not to tell him that; not when he was looking at her so intensely. “I was hurt very badly,” she said instead.
A muscle ticked in Grayson’s jaw.
Mia continued quickly. “Tyrell let me have his room while I healed, and then I was quite settled there, so I stayed.”
“But you moved to my room later?”
“Yes. Tyrell and I . . . we had a fight.”
Grayson’s throat jumped as he swallowed. His voice was painfully measured. “Did he hurt you?”
He’d asked that before. She gave him basically the same answer, because she really didn’t want to dwell on this right now. “Not physically.”
Something sparked in Grayson’s eyes—something she couldn’t interpret.
She hurried on. “I don’t know if I have enough supplies for both of us, but I can get into Tyrell’s room while you’re gone and bring everything here.”
“I don’t want you taking any risks.”
“There won’t be any risk. Tyrell will be gone with you, and any guard will know I used to stay in there—I’ll tell them I left something behind. They’ll let me in. Trust me.”
“I trust you,” he whispered.
She felt a comforting weight in those words. “Thank you.” She hesitated. “I still hadn’t managed to get warmer clothes, or a cloak, or tent. I read that snow can come early to Ryden, so I wanted to be prepared.”
“I’ll secure everything we need when I get back. I can sneak into the laundry to find a thick cloak for you.”
