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I tried to reach for Rook in my dreams, calling to him, running to him, doing everything I could think of. But Rook, even in my dreams, remained just out of my reach. Sometimes I thought I saw him, like a cloudy figure in the distance, but the closer I tried to move the further away he became. It seemed like there was nothing I could do to reach him in this strange empty space I found myself.
We had talked about meeting in our dreams before but I had never experienced it like this where I was in some kinda of strange blank space. I had always gone to Rook before, but something was keeping us apart.
The only result was an overwhelming sense of anger. No,angerwasn't a strong enough word. I experienced a fury like none I’d ever known before. The breathtaking sensation scared me because I was honestly not sure if it was coming from Rook or from myself.
I hated the situation that I was in, hated that sensation of being completely helpless. The very idea of being forced to assist in Rook’s murder was unfathomable.
He was so much more important to me than just a fling or someone I enjoyed sleeping with. Our relationship had grown into something much deeper, though I wasn’t completely certain how to define it. I wasn’t certain I would ever know unless I asked him about it, which I might if we both made it out of this alive.
The other thing that was bothering me was how could Milo betray me this way? Of course we weren't dating or best friends, by any means. But I was a human. He was a human. And we had rules. At least, we used to. And misleading another human being in order to commit murder was unconscionable. And it didn’t matter if he hated the fact that I was intimately involved with a vampire. There was a code among humans and leading an entire mob of angry vampire slayers to me was a little over the top, had to be against the code of conduct or rules of good behavior, even for someone as atrocious as Milo.
When I finally awoke, it felt as if I'd only been asleep for a few moments. To my surprise, Milo was sitting in a chair near the cot, watching me sleep, which was creepy as hell, made shivers prickle over my skin. Rubbing my eyes, I forced my legs to swing over the side of the bed. I sat up and stared at him, wondering what he wanted from me. Hadn’t he done enough already?
I was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Yet, I couldn't help but wonder how long I had been out. I weakly opened my mouth and began to ask him, but Milo held up a hand and cut me off before I ever uttered a word.
He got up and shoved a tray with a sandwich and water bottle in my direction before storming out of the room without a word. Apparently, we weren’t speaking to one another which would’ve been fine out in the world, but I would die in here if I had no one to speak to, or at least I would slowly lose my mind.
His behavior confused me and I started at the closed door, but more than that I was overwhelmed with weakness and my whole body shook. I had obviously slept long enough for it to be time to eat again, which surprised me. And as hungry as I was, I wasn’t sure if I should trust the food and water they’d given me, but when I warily sniffed the sandwich my stomach growled in response. Several hours must have passed and I knew I should eat to regain my strength, especially if Massimo might feed from me again. The thought made my stomach lurch and suddenly I wasn’t sure if I should eat.
An image of his face as he lunged for my neck resulted in me retching and every heave felt as though it came from my very soul. Taking deep breaths, I willed my stomach to calm. If I vomited the food back up, I’d have nothing to pull me from my hypoglycemic state. Plus, I had a feeling that if I was sick they wouldn’t clean it up and I’d be stuck in here with it.
It wasn’t that I was diabetic, but my body was sensitive to the fluctuations of my blood sugar. I’d always needed to eat enough food throughout the day or my blood sugar dropped. I remembered Gran used to remind me to keep a packet of nut butter crackers in my purse whenever I’d leave the house. Now, I could sense that my reserves were gone. Eating was paramount. Tainted food or not. I supposed death was death either way.
If I was going to have any hope of surviving I needed to keep my strength up so I could fight. I wasn’t going to go down as easily as last time. If Massimo thought he could use me as his feeding toy, he was sadly mistaken, and I was going to enjoy rubbing his nose in exactly how wrong he was.
Even if I didn’t have the dagger I’d been counting on before, I would figure something else out. It was either that or die in this cramped little box on a bed that was too short for me to be comfortable. There were no other options. And no matter what happened, I refused to be a pawn in Massimo’s game, or anyone else’s, for that matter. I was going to escape, or die trying. I just had to figure out how.
5
Cross
I watched as Rook paced back and forth from one end of his living room to the other, alternating between wringing his hands and clenching them into fists while murmuring under his breath the whole time. Ever since I texted the prince about Cordelia's disappearance, he had been absolutely crazed, as though he was compelled to find her.
We hadn’t even been back in the apartment that long but he was already eyeing the door as though he needed to go back out. He had torn up every part of town, with me following after, trying to smooth things over with people he pissed off. We looked anywhere he thought she might be, looked for her in all the dark and unsavory nooks and crannies, anywhere we could think of, but somehow their bond was being blocked.
Rook couldn't trace her as he had before, and it broke something inside of him, pushing him into a dangerous and ferocious state. It was difficult to see him aimlessly wandering around without an end to the situation in sight.
"It just doesn't make sense," he said, stopping to look at me, his expression desperate, silently pleading for help. "She couldn't have just vanished into thin air." There was nothing I could tell him though, we had both been and talked to the same people, seen the same places. Cordie was gone.
Still, I had to respond somehow or he might start getting violent. Again.
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. "Maybe she didn't," I suggested. It seemed unlikely that she had been taken a second time, especially with the deal we struck with Massimo. It was something to explore though, a straw for him to grasp at in his desperation. "Maybe someone took her." Why anyone would take her though, a feeder, when there were so many others like her, I couldn’t reason.
Unless it had something to do with Rook.
If it did? I wasn’t sure he’d be able to forgive himself. Especially if she was hurt again. She barely survived the first time.
Rook shook his head. "No, that's not possible. Why? And how could that happen under our noses?" Neither of us wanted to contemplate it, that much was obvious, but we needed to figure it out. A nagging needle of guilt twisted further into me. He’d tasked me with protecting her and I failed.
The idea was gnawing away at me but I knew if I allowed myself to be visibly upset it would only amplify him so I shrugged. Honestly, I didn’t feel up to trying to figure it out, not after the day I’d just had chasing after Rook and trying to protect him before he did something reckless that he would end up regretting. "I don't know, but it's worth considering."
“Have we become so separated from the vampire kingdom, so weak, that others believe we wouldn’t notice when my lover has been kidnapped? That they would be brazen enough to take her even after I destroyed the other two that tried the same thing?” Rook resumed his pacing, muttering to himself.
His words stung because I had noticed, but I hadn’t discovered it quickly enough to where we could do something about it. He wasn’t blaming me, not yet at least, though I figured he would at some point, but I still wished I’d been around so we could have avoided this whole situation.
I knew he was struggling and there was nothing I could do to help him. He had demanded that I look for Cordelia as well, to try and focus on the bond she and I shared. But that bond wasn't the same as theirs. It was never fully formed because Cordie had never consumed my blood.
Rook halted again, another idea changing his posture, his expression, giving him a shard of hope he was going to cling to even if it was jagged and sharp and hurting him at the same time. "Can't you track her down another way? Maybe her scent?" he asked.
