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What if this is a trick? What if I wake and my suffering truly begins?
It is a risk, but either way, I suffer. Do you not want to choose your ending?
I do.
I tipped the glass back and swallowed half the liquid before cramming the stopper back in and returning it to the compartment and covering everything.
Dizziness struck me as I stood to sit on the bed. I lay back and closed my eyes, listening to the quiet stirrings of the house.
The sound of a key in the lock was the last thing I heard before I died. A grin was etched on my face, because I took what he wanted before he could. I won.
CHAPTER23
CLAWDIA
The room seemed to pulse with tension. I didn’t look up at them. I stared at my hands and picked at the skin around my nails.
Everyone seemed to speak at once.
“Clawdia.”
“Clawdicat.”
“Little Cat.”
They stopped. Charlie rested a hand on my thigh. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. You deserved a better life than that.”
I nodded and blinked back tears.
Don’t cry!I shouted at myself.I’m done being so emotional!
Zaide’s eyes were full of pain as he stared at me. “You are safe now, Little Cat. I understand your fear and hurt.”
I sniffled, “You do?”
“I was a slave without hope for a long time. There were days I often thought about taking the route you did. Perhaps I knew help was on the way.”
A tear slipped free, and I cursed myself, wiping it away aggressively. But I wasn’t just crying for myself; I was crying for the Zaide, who almost lost hope. “I’m sorry. I must seem so pathetic to you. You suffered worse for much longer than I did, and I’m crying about it.”
He shook his head sternly. “There is no one way to deal with trauma, Little Cat. We have both suffered. We have both done our best to escape it. Now we must allow ourselves to heal.”
My eyes were sore, and my head was fuzzy as I nodded. I resigned myself to living a life of inescapable and overwhelming emotion. A human life, with all the bad and the good that comes with it.
I stood from the table. Charlie and Zaide reached out for me as if I was going to run or disappear or leave. “I’m just going to the bathroom.” I chuckled and hiccupped.
Washing my face, I noted purple bags under my eyes and my red, puffy face. I sighed at the ugly sight, but I no longer hated my image. I didn’t cringe at the memories of my past self, because I was a new Clawdia who was a mix of Margaret Claudia and Clawdicat.
Maybe being human won’t be as painful as I thought it would be. Maybe I won’t always be reminded of my past. Maybe I can move past it all.Heal like Zaide did instead of running away from my feelings by being a cat.
In my mind, a door opened, and possibility and hope came flooding in.
I could go back to nursing school if Winnie let me. I could earn money, buy things, and live as I once did. I could date, maybe fall in love.
A small smile on my face and hope in my heart, I left the bathroom, only to find Daithi waiting outside for me. I froze.
His face showed nothing but sympathy. “I can try to turn you back.”
My heart raced. “What?”
