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“And now I know I am a lucky bastard indeed. But I am thinking that in light of all…well, this… that perhaps you need a drink?” I don’t know what I found more funny, the way Lucius waved a hand at the room as if his eyes were close to burning from all the lights, or my dad’s quick and almost desperate reply,
“Gods yes!”
“Er, I wouldn’t say no,” Zagan added, just as Ragnar had finally made his way over to us after first wrestling with the snowman until it was finally erect… even though it was a little drunk looking.
“Can I get in on that action?” Adam asked, but it was Ragnar that pointed out one crucial flaw.
“We can’t all leave together or she will notice,” He said, making my father slap him on the back and say,
“It’s good to be King.” Then he started to walk away, when I grabbed him by the shirt and said,
“Be fair, Father,” I said, making him groan. “Look, I’ve got your back, old man, so you can all go together… Right, Pip you and me are on diversion duty.” She saluted at me and said,
“Lead the way, Captain.” As for my father, he pulled me in for another hug and told me,
“It’s good to have you home, Honey… oh and make it last at least an hour and I will buy you a pony.” I laughed at this and replied,
“Make it the new LEGO Star Wars AT-AT set and we have a deal.” Lucius looked at me like I had lost my mind, making me point out,
“I already told you once before, it’s epic and has six thousand seven hundred and eight five pieces, and can fit forty mini-figures inside.” At this he pulled me in closer so he could kiss me on my forehead before saying in a patronizing tone,
“Okay, sweetheart.”
“But it’s so I can relive the Battle of Hoth in The Empire Strikes Back!” I shouted, which only prolonged his chuckle as he and my father walked out the door. As for Adam, he kissed Pip quick and said,
“Be good, my little tree.”
“Yeah, nice try, like that’s ever gonna happen, Pookie bear,” she replied, making him wink at her as she shook her baubles at him. However, it was when Zagan and Ragnar were also about to leave that we held them back.
“Don’t go until we give you the signal or you will never make it out of this place without tinsel being involved,” I warned, making them both reply,
“It’s good to have you back, little apple.”
“Most definitely, Little Princess.”
I winked at them both before turning to Pip and saying,
“Right, Pipinator, we are on.” She fist-pumped the air and after gritting her teeth, she growled,
“Yeah, let’s do this!”
* * *
“Merry Christmas!”I shouted, making my mum groan before putting a hand to her head and saying,
“Not so loud.” At this I walked over to where she was sitting on the couch, put my arm around her, and said,
“What’s up, Mum, not feeling quite as festive today?” I teased, knowing that she had a hangover. I think whatever part of my mum was still human, it was the part that clearly retained alcohol. This was why Pip’s idea for distracting my mum had been to blast cheesy Christmas tunes, break open a bottle of tequila, and start the Christmas party early.
Which also meant that by the time the men eventually did come back last night, they found all four of us surrounded by life-sized Santa’s Elves. They found my mum slow dancing with one, Pip gyrating against another, and Sophia swinging an elf hat around her head as she twirled around the one now missing a hat. And as for me, I had one on the couch with me, tapping my shot glass to its lifeless head before downing it. This after first telling it all about how wonderful married life was. Turned out, he was a pretty good listener.
However, the looks on the men’s faces had been classic, but it was Ragnar who spoke first,
“Who ate all the food?” I burst out laughing at this, slapping my new friend on his wooden leg. Because Ragnar was right, we had given up waiting for the men to come back and started to devour half the buffet an hour before. It was also one that my mum had ordered in special and had been the first to dig in. I was holding half an eaten cookie in my hand before saying,
“I think there might be some broken gingerbread men cookies left at the back, but they have no heads, as Pip bit them all off.”
“You’re damn right I did, those little bastards were giving me the stink eye!” Pip had said as she continued to give it good to her new friend getting its painted face rubbed in her crotch. What made it more disturbing was most definitely the creepy smile it had, although in Pip’s defence it looked like it was having a good time at least.
