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“Sit, Nana.” Ollie put his arm around her, guiding her back to her seat, pushing her cup closer in silent suggestion to drink. She took it, taking a few shaking sips. Ollie kneeled in front of her. “I’m so sorry, that got out of hand. That wasn’t fair to you.”
“Yes, I’m so sorry.” Caleb walked the table, grabbing a cloth napkin and pressing it against his bleeding nose. Ollie didn’t even look in his direction.
Nana cupped Ollie’s cheek. “These wounds should be punishment enough. You two hotheads have more of your father in your blood than you like to believe some days.”
My nerves were fried, my mind spinning and dark. Color was draining from all around me, the bright space graying in the haze of emotions I was trying to get under control. I couldn’t stay here, not after all of this. I wanted to be here for Nana, but I couldn’t, not today—it was too tainted now. The least I could do was give something to her; even if it wasn’t the three of us, she deserved to be with at least one grandchild on her birthday.
“Visit with Caleb.” Ollie’s eyes widened at my words. “He deserves time with you, too, but that doesn’t mean I have to stay. I’m sorry, I just can’t do this right now.”
“Moonlight…” Nana reached out to me, but her hand shook for a moment before falling back to her side. She stared at me, into what I could only assume were exhausted, resigned eyes. She gave me a nod before turning back to the table.
“Goodbye, Caleb,” I managed to get out before I turned on my heels, desperate to escape the smothering space.
“Kasha…” His voice drifted to me, stopping me in my tracks.
I looked over my shoulder, glaring at the man I no longer recognized. “You want to do what’s right for the family? Then go back to Crelanti and continue to be Father’s perfect little soldier boy. That’s all you’re good for anymore.”
A bit of hope flared in my chest as I watched his shoulders slump in defeat before I turned back to head outside.
“Wait up.” Ollie leaned down to give Nana a kiss on the cheek before coming up next to me, slinging his arm around my shoulder, guiding me back out the door.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Ollie wasn’t ready to go back to his Compound, not aftereverything. I wasn’t sure if it was for his own needs or if he was concerned for mine, but I was happy to have him around.
Once we got back, part of me wanted to work, lose myself in the research I knew the rest of the team was doing. Ollie convinced me otherwise, reminding me that I would be of no help in my current state and that I should focus on getting my own needs in order before attending to others.
For once, I listened to him.
We spent the rest of the afternoon in the training building, sparring hand-to-hand and practicing our aim with various weapons in the shooting areas. The focus and repetition of everything helped to calm something in me, to at least bring a sense of relief deep within my chest. After we had successfully run our bodies to their physical limits and cleaned up, a few of the Hierarchy invited us to join them at theBlood Moon; apparently all of them needed a break as well.
Most of me hadn’t wanted to be there, surrounded by the rowdy crowd with the pulsing music played by a vivacious band. But I could tell Ollie wanted to go out, his extroverted nature begging to be around people to distract him; and I could have said no, retired to my house while he went out with some of my team. They had known him for a while, it wouldn’t have been odd. But I didn’t want to be away from him, not after the day we had together.
So, I found myself seated in the corner of the tavern, nestled between Taylor and Ollie in a round corner booth, Lucas, Greyson, and Eden on the other side of the half-circle. All of them were on at least their third drink while I was enjoying my cool glass of sparkling water with lime, trying my best to ignore the buzzing in my fingertips at being around so much alcohol. As long as I didn’t consume it, I’d be fine. Safe.
My past does not define me. I am stronger than my past.
I shook off the edge, remembering that going out tonight was supposed to help me relax, not make the anxious ticks and nerves worse. I leaned forward, wrapping my hand around my glass, allowing the ice-cold surface to snap me back to reality.
“So, you still hate me?” I threw a crumbled-up napkin at a frowning Eden, her bottle-green eyes detached and glazed over. After what I told her this morning, I worried how she faired the rest of the day. At least I was a bit comforted knowing she’d had Greyson and Nolan with her, even if it was sifting through reports.
Her eyes slowly found their way to me, clearing up as a weak smile tipped her lips. “A little, but I’ll get back at you eventually.”
“I’m sure you will.” I laughed, taking a sip of my water.
“Let me guess, the Elliot case keeping you busy?” Ollie asked, all of us mumbling an affirmative. “I’ve heard stories from my Hierarchy. Some of them were in Vapalles when Elliot struck. A part of me feels lucky I never had that responsibility on my shoulders.”
“You have no idea how lucky you are.” I poked him in the stomach, a laugh escaping him. “The more you learn about him, the more drive there is to remove him from the streets, but he’s like a ghost…impossible to catch. Every lead we think we get, barely pans out. Forces you to get creative with the way you investigate.”
“Leading members of the team to curse our Keturi’s names with the number of cold cases they’ve forced us to sift through.” Eden stuck her tongue out at me.
“Ah, I see.” Ollie said, bringing his glass to his lips to hide a smile.
“And with everything else we have to keep in order,” Greyson knocked his head lightly against the wall behind him, “I’m surprised none of us have tried to kill one another.”
We all laughed, cracking the weariness and exhaustion in our voices. It wasn’t just me who needed a night away from Compound, away from the stress and triggers of what we worked on constantly.
“Surely the Deltas can handle most of the cases while you all focus on Elliot?” Ollie asked, taking another sip of his ale.
