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We dressed with little else said concerning his proclamation. James kissed me softly, lingering against my lips before he returned to his map. I fixed his bed, grabbing my book from the floor and smiled at his reddened cheeks. I missed that exertion of being human after sex. As a vampyre, it took an exceptionally rigorous round to tire me. His father burst in through the door suddenly, exclaiming with his arms in the air.
“Mrs. Blackwell, my son, you will not believe the news!” he yelled, pulling me from the bed. Over the week, I had grown to like him very much, for he had an aura that was infectious, like how my father used to be... like William when it had just been us.
“What is it, Father?” James asked, leaning against the desk. I wondered if Captain Reynolds ignored the stench of sex in the air, or if he didn’t detect it at all, despite its potency.
“We reach New York tomorrow morning!” said the captain merrily. “Much quicker than old Higgins thought, aye? The old man said it would take us twelve days, what with the bad weather the others were reporting. But have we seen a single storm? No!” Nicholas put his hands on my waist and spun me around in a circle in the air. That act was exhilarating andhuman,a thrill shivered through me.
“Is your wife in New York, Captain?” I asked him as he set me down. He nodded, a smile even brighter—were it possible—on his handsome face.
“Why yes! My wife, my daughter and my two younger sons.” He grabbed James's shoulders tightly. “And young James's bride-to-be, if he ever proposes as his mother has asked.”
“You are to be engaged, Mr. Reynolds?” I asked, my voice full of skepticism. He merely jerked away from his father.
“I am, indeed. However, Ma has horrible taste in young ladies, and I much prefer to pick a bride out myself.” James rose, walking toward me, his eyes holding his every intention. A vice had wound its way around my heart, for I knew even if we were to be stupid enough to marry, my love could never be his. We could not be together, as fun as this journey had been, it wouldn’t be possible.
Night fell once more and I found myself alone as the other men readied themselves for the evening. I stared over the edge of the ship, watching as the moon dashed in and out of the clouds.
“I know what you are up to, James, and I will have no part of it,” I said sharply as he came from behind, standing beside me. He blew out a frustrated breath, leaning against the ledge while his eyes searched my face.
“Rose, please. I have not ever felt about a woman as I do you. I can give you a life. You’ve lost your husband,” he pleaded his case.
“It could never work,” I said gently. “I’m not the woman you think I am. I do not need saving.”
“I gathered that from our interactions, but I know we can be good together.” James took my hand, kissing my fingers. “Please, I know you feel it, too.”
What did I feel for him? I felt adoration, yes. But not love, not in the way I knew he felt for me. Not when I closed my eyes and saw William every time he was inside me.
“I feel immense guilt, darling. Guilt for having with you the moments I should be having with my husband.” I gazed away from his hurt eyes and out toward the black water.
“If this man loved you so much he would want you taken care of–”
Mid-way through his sentence, I walked away toward the captain’s quarters. He grabbed my arm, turning me around to face him. James pulled me tightly to him, pressing every inch of our bodies together. He was warm, breathing heavily and his wide hazel eyes burned with purpose.
“No,” I whispered, resting my hands on his chest. “I can’t.” James pushed my back into the metal wall, I yelped at the contact, his face inches from mine. He took me in a kiss, one hand gripping a handful of my hair at the nape of my neck. I let myself relax under his touch, kissing him back, searching his mouth with my tongue. Heat pooled in between my thighs, still damp from our morning romp.
“James!” a voice shouted. “James, remove yourself from Mrs. Blackwell now!” His body suddenly snatched from mine, I gasped. How had I not heard an approach?
“Father, please—" James began.
“Absolutely not. This is a widowed woman, son. She is with child. How dare you, you have Jenny at home, look at yourself!” Nicholas lectured, one hand full of James’s shirt, and the other reached out toward me. “Taking advantage of this poor woman, ruining her reputation. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
“I love her, father! She cares for me as well! I want to marry her!”
It was as if he’d slapped me. Betrayal, the familiar snake it was, slithered over me. How could he out us like that? Nicholas’s eyes found mine in dismay.
“Is this true?”
“I-I-I am so confused, sir, I just lost my husband,” I sputtered. James’s expression was hurt, shaking his head he waved me off while he turned to leave.
“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Blackwell, come let’s get you into the bed,” Nicholas said, taking me into his quarters. I watched James tromp below deck over my shoulder.
***
The morning was cloudy and begged for rain. I smiled as I stepped onto the deck, the Statue of Liberty, her arm high in the sky, welcoming me home. It had been some time since I had seen her and she was just as glorious as the day I’d left all those years ago. Nicholas approached from behind, his hands wrapping around the smooth wood of the railing.
“Thank you for everything, Captain. I am indebted to you,” I said, and I meant it.
“Please do not mention it, Rosemary!” he replied, rubbing my shoulder softly, “You were a woman needing help, it was the least I could do. I cannot imagine my own wife in such a situation with less of a man.”
