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“I have access to more empathy now than I did before my time in Faerie, but don’t mistake that for meaning I’m a kinder, gentler version of the asshole who is never going to suffer fools and idiots in his presence. Lauren is almost here, and I’ve promised her twenty minutes of privacy before I begin my day.”
Queenie considered arguing whether the change was from his time in Faerie or his relationship with Lauren, but she wisely gave a curt nod, closed her laptop, put it into the safe, closed it, and exited the room as Lauren entered. This door had an electronic lock as well as an old-fashioned deadbolt, and Lauren engaged both before turning to him and running into his arms.
He considered Queenie’s thoughts, and realized she was both correct and incorrect. His time living in a true nightmare had prepped him, so he was capable of opening up enough to enjoy the full-on sunshine and heart of the woman in his arms.
If he’d changed, it was a result of both events, not one or the other.
And yeah, okay. His heart was full, and it never had been before, so obviouslysomethinghad changed.
Just standing and holding Lauren, no sex or feeding, just the feel of his arms around her and hers around him, gave him more pleasure than he could ever understand. Whatever else was missing in him, whatever had been excised along with his humanity by the men who’d enslaved him before and after making him a vampire — Lauren filled in those pieces, somehow.
Lauren’s voice vibrated against his chest when she finally spoke. “We’re one month away from the two-year anniversary of you saving me from myself.”
“Not being able to look into your thoughts is extremely annoying when I have no idea what you’re talking about and have to ask.”
She snuggled her face into his chest more. Squeezed her arms around him a little tighter. “The two bears, in Alaska. I still haven’t had a threesome, but that’s okay. I have a feeling I was setting myself up for something horrific with those two. It wasn’t like me at all.” She took a breath. “What it’s really an almost-anniversary of is that magical night. Dancing, and a helicopter ride. Time with you. I’d never imagined you could be so…”
“Human?”
“Oh, no. I would never call you human. You are Gavin, and you own my heart, but there’s no doubt I’m in love with a really, really,reallyold vampire.”
He kissed the top of her head. “You see who people really are. You see the truth of them. That night, I was fascinated by the idea that you saw me, understood me. Now, it still amazes me that you like me — not in spite of who I am, butbecauseof who I am.”
He wondered if she understood that the last person he’d wanted to touch, needed to hold or be held by, was likely his mother, and he couldn’t remember what she’d looked like or sounded like. He had the basic idea of it, but he could no longer close his eyes and see her.
He walked Lauren to a small sofa and pulled her into his lap. “I love that you wanted some time with me this afternoon. I’ve missed you. Running a territory takes a lot of time, and I don’t yet have people in place to run it for me so I can take a week of mostly down time when I need a break, but itwillhappen eventually.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” Lauren resituated herself on his thighs, straddling them so she faced him, and she cupped his cheek. “Such an ice-cold badass, but youseeme, and part of my soul calls to part of your soul.” She kissed his cheek. “I know you’re going to have to deal with whoever allowed Medved access to your territory, and that means you’ll need to face Morella. Promise me you’ll let me stand by your side while you do it.”
He shook his head. “I understood that you wanted to help defend your new home, your new city.” And he’d also understood he’d have damaged whatever relationship they were forming if he’d refused to allow her to fight. “But this is different.”
She shook her head. “My arm is fine. I worked a few hours and took the sling off, went to the weight room and tried it out. Nothing stronger than five-pound weights until I was sure, but I lifted my usual amounts and managed a full workout. My axolotl did his job — not as fast as a shifter, but I’ll take it. Stop thinking of me as human.”
“You aren’t vampire. I won’t be taking Queenie with me when I go, either. Just vampires.”
“I wanted you to feed from me this morning because I wanted to try an experiment. Will you take a few sips, at least, so I can try it?”
“What experiment?”
She closed her eyes and Gavin scented bear. She leaned in and offered her neck, but he only licked the skin.
“You taste and feel of bear.”
She opened her eyes and the scent fell away. “If you feed from me when I do that, will you take on the energy of a bear?”
“A few sips won’t tell us. It’ll have to be a full feeding.”
She popped him on the arm.Hard. “Which is why I wanted you to feed from me today!”
“Can you do that with the hawk as well?”
She nodded, and he kissed her on the lips — not enough to completely distract her, but enough to show her how much he cared for her and wanted her.
“The goal today is to empty this building and scatter my people so we don’t give someone a handy target. I’m getting satellite reconnaissance of Morella’s residences in a few hours, and I’ve sent a few small shifters in to scout as well.” He kissed her forehead. “Super top secret. Only Queenie knows. Not even Ambrose.”
“Small shifters? Like mongooses?”
This was a secret most shifters didn’t know, and only the vampires from a certain line, or who stumbled on a mind who happened to be thinking of it, as far as Gavin knew. Lauren had special permission to know secrets though, and Gavin was going to make it extend to this one.
