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But she doesn’t; she arches closer, moaning as her hips brush against where I’m hard for her. Again. I’ve been hard for her with disturbing frequency since our make out session this morning, proof that I could use something to take the edge off, too.
“So, why don’t we stop fighting it?” I bring my lips to her forehead and press a kiss to her feverish skin. “Let me help you take the edge off, Growly. I bet we’ll both sleep easier tonight and be thinking straighter come morning.”
“If we did, it wouldn’t mean anything,” she says, rubbing against my cock in a way that makes it very hard to pay attention to what she’s saying. “It wouldn’t mean that I want anything short-term, let alone long-term. I haven’t changed my mind, Ford. This doesn’t end with us together. Not in any possible version of the future.”
“Then there’s no harm in having a little fun, right?” I tangle my fingers in her dress, drawing it higher on her thighs as I gather more of it into my fist.
“This doesn’t feel like fun,” she says, her breath hot on my cheek. “It feels like…”
“Like what?” I slip my free hand between her thighs, groaning as my fingers brush the soaked crotch of her panties.
“Like dying,” she gasps, arching closer to my touch. “And being happy about it. God, Ford, please touch me.”
“There’s nothing I’d rather do,” I rumble against her lips as I kiss her, hard and deep. And then my hand is down the front of her panties, sliding through her slick, swollen folds to push inside her, and I’m in heaven.
Juliet’s pussy, wet and hot for me as she clings to my shoulders and begs me never to stop, is heaven. There’s only one thing that could make it better, but I’m not going to let my head go there.
If I take her virginity tonight, when she’s vulnerable and overwhelmed with new feelings, she’ll resent me for it later. No, tonight, I’ll show her what I can do with my hands, prove to her that her pleasure ismypleasure, and wait for the right moment for more.
Now that I know she feels the same pull I do, I’m confident that the right moment will come. She can fight it all she wants, but her body knows I’m hers, just like I know she’s the only woman I’m ever going to want like this—body and soul.
twelve
JULIET
This is a mistake.
It’s even more of a mistake than it was this morning. Now I know that what I’m feeling is more than chemistry or being attracted to the only man I can trust right now.
Something deep in my bonesdemandsFord.
It isn’t howling for him or longing for him or crossing its fingers that things will work out—it’s demanding that I chain this man to my bed and have my way with him for oh, say…the rest of my life.
That’s enough to scare the shit out of me, even if it was just my cross to bear. But I already know that Ford feels it, too. If it were just my body’s demands, I could ignore them, suppress them, manage them in some way that wouldn’t derail everything I have planned. But Ford has no interest in ignoring our connection. This is what Ford has wanted all along, or at least since he learned I wasn’t the one who sold him into slavery.
He wants love and sex and happily ever after and probably babies, too.
“Do you have a condom?” I murmur against his lips as he lays me on one of the lounge chairs at the edge of the roof, stretches out beside me, and continues doing things between my legs that make it almost impossible to think straight.
But I can’t get pregnant right now. I’m not sure I want to bring children into this fucked up world at any point, but especially not now.
If Ford doesn’t have protection, maybe that will be enough to give me the strength to walk away from all the things his fingers gliding in and out of my body make me feel.
“We won’t need it,” he says, kissing his way up my throat to the curve of my jaw. “My pants are staying on. This is all about you.”
His words make me shiver, and I’m not sure in a good way. “I’m not a charity case,” I snap.
“No, you’re a stress case who needs to come,” he says, rubbing one knuckle against my clit as his fingers continue to stoke the fire building within me. “And you took care of me this morning. Let me return the favor.”
I bite my lip, my eyes squeezing closed with a hiss of pleasure as Ford bites my nipple through my dress. Everything he’s doing feels so good, sofucking good, but also terrible.
No, not terrible.
Scary. Wild. Out of control.
There’s nothing more out of control than having an orgasm, especially in front of another person. I’ve only done that a few times and that was in another life, when I was a happy college coed making out with my boyfriend, a guy I liked but already knew wasn’t the one for me. Some people might assume knowing Chase wasn’t my forever man would make things less intense between us, but I found it so freeing. When I was with him, I didn’t have to worry about the future. I knew we’d eventually go our separate ways, but until then I was free to enjoy his touch without wondering if we’d be able to make it work long-term.
But Ford is going to be in my life for a long time.
