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“I’ve been taking you seriously all day, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“What did Philipa tell you?”
Ben shifted uncomfortably on the rock-hard, compacted ground, but regretted it instantly when Nikolas cried out. He held the frozen fingers tighter, almost painfully crushed, to try that trick of deceiving the brain. He didn’t think it would work with a shattered tibia, but it didn’t hurt to try. “She didn’t tell me anything. You did. She threatened, you capitulated.”
Nikolas grunted. “So if I’d lied you’d have been none the wiser. You have no idea how amusing I find that irony.”
“You’re the one who flounced off because of this, not me! I did nothing with the news!”
“Well it’s just as well I have nicely arranged for us to die in a fucking hole together, then isn’t it? Because you’d have fucking flounced far further than I was able to get!”
“Stop swearing. You don’t like swearing.”
He could hear Nikolas grinding his teeth and smirked in the dark.
“I only ever told you to stop because I always had more than enough of it for the both of us going on in my h—” He was suddenly silent, and Ben knew another wave of pain had overtaken him. He brought his hand out from under the warm covering and began to slowly stroke through the long strands of Nikolas’s hair. The repetitive action was all he could do to help.
“Anyway, what I was going to tell you?” Ben could hear the extreme effort Nikolas was making to keep his voice light, and he added a kiss into the blond strands, pressing deep, closing his eyes to the need to scream.
“Oh, I remember. Very important, yes. About some villagers I once saw being crucified in Pakistan.”
Ben opened his eyes, his mouth still pressed to Nikolas, mid-kiss. “Did you just say what I thought you said? Bloody hell. This is going to be one of your horrible stories, isn’t it?”
“My horrible stories, as you so disrespectfully call them, are helpful and educational illustrations of important life lessons. You would do well to learn from them.”
“So I don’t end up stuck in a hole following a moron running away from home?”
“Anyway, these people were Christians. But the thing that intrigued me was that they had been put on crosses in a tidal river. So they hung in agony all day, but the only respite they would have from this would be to die anyhow from drowning. Would you long for the tide to come in, Ben, or dread it?”
“It depends on whether you were there keeping my spirits up.”
“As usual you are being wilful and entirely missing the point.”
“Nope, I got it. I’m just waiting for you to risk comparing our life together for the last nine years with this guilt hanging over your head, to being slowly tortured to death. Try it—see what reaction you get. I dare you.”
“Ack, if you ever had any secrets from me you would know what it is like and give me a little more sympathy.”
“I kinda thought me keeping secrets from you nine years ago is what’s got us right where we are.”
Sometimes, Ben reflected, it was incredibly easy to shut Nikolas Mikkelsen up.
They were both lost to their own thoughts again for a while, Ben desperately hoping his paralysing fear hadn’t been evident in his voice, and Nikolas trying unsuccessfully, not for the first time, to light a cigarette.
He finally admitted to himself that his lighter was spent, and the frantic clicking in the dark ceased.
“I expect you’ll be begging me to climb those walls soon.”
“Uh huh. Well, I didn’t bring any food in my pack. Think on that, gannet, and you define motivation.”
“Do you think you could try standing on your good leg if I haul you to standing? On your shoulders I might be able to reach firmer soil, or maybe something stuck in the walls—roots?”
“All right. Is it a good sign that I cannot feel my foot, by the way?”
“No. Okay, let’s try.”
Ben slid out from behind Nikolas’s warm back once more. The air in the bottom of the shaft was icy, the damp only adding to the chill. A few flakes of snow were drifting through the dark, melting on Ben’s face. He took the sleeping bag off Nikolas and stowed it neatly back in the pack so they wouldn’t tread on it and muddy it. Then he held out his hands and found Nik’s in the dark. “Ready?”
“Just do it.”
