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“Answer for answer.”
“You think I’m going to tell you what you want to know in exchange for the reasons for your forced and failed celibacy?”
“We’ll talk about before shit went bad. Who you were. Your motives.”
I’m not stupid enough to think that Cole actually cares about my life before the dead rose. He’s looking for answers, and he probably thinks that by getting me to drop my guard, they’ll flow forth.
Two can play that game.
“Fine. Ask me anything.”
“Where’d you grow up?”
“The small, rural town of Kingston, near the western edge of the state.”
“That’s about three hours away?”
“Something like that. Now it’s my turn.”
“Go for it.”
“You were definitely military, but what did you do?”
“Joined the army straight out of high school and shot straight up. By the time I discharged, I was training special forces.”
“That makes sense.”
“My turn.” His eyes look mischievous. “How’d you lose your virginity?”
“Why would you ask that?” I say, offended.
“Because I’m trying to figure you out. You said you lost it before shit went down, but it’s clear you’ve never been fucked good.”
“Because I lost it when I was fifteen to a friend. We were two virgins fucking and it…well, let’s just say it turned me off to the act.”
It’s not a lie, because after I found out I was pregnant, I swore off sex. But he doesn’t need to know that.
I’ll never tell him about Seth.
“My turn,” I say, hoping he doesn’t probe further.
“Let’s hear it.”
“Were you married?”
His face falls for all of a moment before he regains his composure. Apparently, I struck a chord.
“I was.”
“That’s all you’re going to say?”
“I wasn’t a good husband, and my marriage ended before the world did.”
He has a faraway look in his eye that I regret putting there, because while he may be an obstacle to me, I don’t believe that deep down he’s a bad man.
This world is capable of turning good people into monsters. I should know, because look what I did to Selina and Jayne.
“I don’t think these questions are doing us any favors,” I say. “The past happened, and it’s gone. It doesn’t matter who we were.”
