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I go over to the coffeemaker to make a pot, but guilt needles me, causing me to make a mess.
This was so much easier when I hated him.
“Would you like a cup?”
“No thanks,” he replies, not taking his eyes from the football game he’s watching.
My mind wanders. I still see him down there, between my legs, defiling me.
I should hate it, and I do, but not for a logical reason. I hate it not because it’s gross and repugnant, but because I liked it so much.
Isthatwhy all the women in the Keep are so keen on their Keepers? Is that how the men keep them tamed?
Whenever they discuss sex, I tune them out, because it’s gross that they would submit willingly to their brutal captors.
But is that what this is?
I take a seat near Alistair, crossing my legs on the cushion to get comfortable.
He shoots me a side eye but continues watching.
“What’s going to happen between us?” I ask.
“Uh, I promised to take care of you. I suppose we could ask for a bigger apartment so your sister can stay with us.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then speak more clearly.”
“Are we going to have sex?”
“If I was going to fuck you, I would have done so last night.”
“But our deal.”
“Consider it fulfilled.”
“I don’t understand. I thought we were supposed to…” I allow my voice to trail off.
“Truth is, it’s not very good without an enthusiastic partner. Eventually, when more women come to the Keep and there isn’t such desperate need, we can go our separate ways and you won’t have to worry about partnering with anyone. Until then, just don’t embarrass me.”
This is the win I’ve been waiting for, yet it’s not victory I feel.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I beat the system. I should be happy.
But if I truly did beat it, why does it feel like I’ve lost?
“And you promise you’re not mad?”
Alistair shrugs, avoiding my gaze. “Frustrated, maybe. Mad, no.”
He’s not the only one…
“Christine wants to see you. You should head on over there after breakfast.”
“Okay, I guess I’ll see you tonight.”
“Later.”
