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Unable to hold back, I come, screaming his name as he so wanted because it’s the only word I know.
I want to feel him come. I want to lick him and suck him and ride him as he makes me feel the things he does so effortlessly.
Somehow, like magic, he realizes when it’s about to be too much and he stops.
“I want to feel you inside of me,” I rasp. “I want everything I was scared of.”
His expression isn’t what I’d expect it to be. It’s sad.
“What’s wrong? Did I do something?”
“No, it’s not you. It will never be you.”
“Then why aren’t you happy? Don’t you want to fuck me?”
“More than anything.”
“Then what’s stopping you?”
He exhales, sliding into the spot next to me. Even though we’re still touching, I feel so far away from him, and I hate it. It’s like there’s a giant void between us.
“If we’re going to go any further, I have to tell you something.”
“What?”
“It’s about your father.”
My brow pinches together. I’d tried to push him from my mind because the thought of him makes me want to puke. I’ll never get over what he did to me. How he sold me to Frank.
“I can’t talk about him.”
“Unfortunately, there’s no avoiding it.”
“Don’t do this…”
He shoves his fingers through his hair, every muscle in his body growing tense. “I tortured him.”
My jaw drops. “Huh?”
“He could be dead now, for all I know.”
“What do you mean, you tortured him?”
“I flayed the flesh from his fingers, toes, and cock.”
“No…”
“Yeah, I did it. And I’d do it again. I was so full of rage. Hot fucking anger was seeping out of every pore in my body. I could have killed him, but it wouldn’t have been enough. I wanted him to feel everything I did for the rest of his life. And he will.”
Of all the things he could have said, this I wasn’t prepared for.
“If you hate me, I get it. I kind of hate myself, but I don’t regret what I did. It’s my job to take care of you.”
Unable to muster a reply, I get up from the couch, righting my dress.
“Britney?”
My emotions are too strong. I can’t get my head straight. I sprint from the apartment, unable to face the feelings swirling in my gut.
