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Marco laughs, again. “That’s very true. But you’re also wrong there.”
I stop, the pulled up carpet in the corner no longer seems interesting. The guy is so thick, it’s infuriating. I wrench the door open. “Stop laughing!”
“Hey you opened the door!” he says, grinning widely.
I groan and go to slam it, but he stops me.
“Okay, hear me out,” he says. “Yes, I overreacted. Look, my hands are up. My bad. And there’s no excuse, but do you think either of us are of sound mind at the moment? I mean, the pressure Luca’s under, the grief and how he’s wanting to bring vengeance for his father … Hell, even the attempted hit on you both!” Marco pauses, as if that is all I need to hear to be convinced. “And me, well, this is like my puppy. I don’t have anyone because I dedicate everything to this family. This business. I know it sounds silly …”
He’s trying the emotional blackmail on me … and it’s working, slightly. I remember my father throwing himself into the business after mother passed away.
“What I’m getting at is that anyone would crack under so much pressure. Yes, you’re completely right, someone is obviously pitting us against each other. And yes, there’s nothing wrong with tracking him to be safe. But for Luca, he’s almost near breaking point as it is. He just can’t communicate it.”
When I don’t react, he looks around still trying to find a way to break through. But I’m thinking back to the other night. To this night. He’s been trying to reach out, and I’ve been trying to catch him… but it’s like something always stops him.
“I need to be having this conversation with him,” I say. “I need him to be as honest as you. I need—” I stop. I almost blurted out my secret. “I need to be as honest with him.”
“See!” Marco says. “You and Luca are the same. You’ve come from big families, the only children of powerful men, you’ve had everything you could ever want.”
“You’re losing your ground,” I say. “And why does everyone keep saying that? I don’t have everything I want.” I rub my belly absentmindedly. I don’t have a father for my baby.
“I’m not finished,” he says. “Most people get nothing in life, and when they push back, they get even less. The advantages you two have been born with are so much to everyone else. How is someone going to develop emotionally in that life? He’s used to giving direction, not taking it.”
I go to interrupt and he hurries up to his meaning. “The point is that I was a kid on the streets. I had less than nothing. I had no one and viewed life very different from Luca. Then suddenly I was friends with a kid who had the keys to the kingdom. What’s more, they were destined to be his one day. He’d always had what he wanted and never had to battle for it. He didn’t need to be greedy about things, because he’d never not had it. Do you understand?”
“Of course I understand, but it still doesn’t explain me sticking around with an asshole like you or waiting for him!” I snap.
“But you can’t be honest with him if you’re not here? And he can’t be honest with you either.” Marco smiles but says nothing more.
He’s got me. I can’t crap on about him needing to be honest and me needing to be honest while trying to flee … I attempt to close the bag and jump onto the thing, pressing all my weight onto it. The thing won’t shut, and Marco watches me with a laugh threatening to break free. He leans against the door and folds his arms.
“One thing you should know about Luca is that he’s always been greedy for control, not money. So all this time as of late being out of control, being on the sidelines while everyone else does his work, it’s making him crazy. Being helpless and defenseless to an enemy he can’t see is making him go nuts. That’s how I know you aren’t responsible for this.”
I pause, pushing on the luggage and stare at him. It makes sense, all of it does, but none of Marco’s words or my own has convinced me. “I’m not staying,” I say, beginning my efforts again.
“And I’m not going to try and stop you,” he replies, watching me try to close the bag again with amusement.
I pause on the luggage. A sudden decision has come to me. A decision about the baby. I want to tell Marco.
Marco leans away from the door. “Before his mother passed away, and even more so since, he’s measured every single facet of his life that he could. He doesn’t say so, but I’ve noticed in the way he organizes things—in what worries him. You being in his life is something he can’t control.”
“Well, he doesn’t get to control me,” I say, staring at him in shock. “I’m not to be owned. And why can’t he say this?” I implore to the roof. The deep conversation I’ve been craving with Luca is coming from his bonehead friend Marco.
I’m not even trying to close my bag now. “It doesn’t justify how he’s spoken to me,” I say. “Or how you’ve acted.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Marco says, coming over to the bed and closing the luggage with one hand and then zipping it shut with the other. “But knowing more about him, should hopefully help you understand him.”
I stare down at my feet. It does make sense, his need for control and knowing. And it makes sense why it’s important to him. But— “He needs to understand that I need my freedom too,” I say.
“I’m sure he wants to give it to you,” Marco says.
“But if knowing is half of his problem, why doesn’t he ask?”
Marco laughs now, loud and long. By the time he calms down I feel like he’s speaking to me like I’m a child, even if he doesn’t mean to. “Sophie, if everyone did what they were meant to, and didn’t act how they weren't meaning to, the world would have peace. Most people agree on the exact same thing, they just put the words differently. It’s only when we get defensive of our own way does a problem come into being.” He pauses and looks at his shoes. “Once we have secrets, that is when things begin going wrong.”
He doesn’t look me in the eye as he says it.
I put a hand to my belly. How would have the last few weeks gone had Luca known I was pregnant? How different would he treat me if he had known the truth? I’d kept that from him and used it against him. I’d kept thinking that everything he was doing he was doing to me and the baby, but would he have been the same person had he known?
