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I can’t leave him…
“Mom!” Alessandro screams out again, even more desperate than the first time. “Now!”
Tony looks at me briefly, my eyes still glued on him as sirens grow louder.
“Go…” he demands, his eyes serious. And then he looks back down to Madam Rosa, and begins to sob.
I feel his life slip away from his body and I collapse..
On top of his bed, sobbing powerfully. The lull of the machine next to him rang out in my ears, plaguing me with every moment that passed.
“Mom!” Tony wails, collapsing on top of her.
I look down at the ground.
“Mom!” Alessandro screams desperately again.
I try to shake all the mounting emotions down and dart off toward the van with my men, but I’m going slow. I’m hurt. And I hate the thought of leaving him.
Edoardo’s demeanor grows serious. "They're working as hard as they can, but if it spreads… they don’t think it’ll be curable…”
An uneasy feeling builds in the pit of my stomach, and I swallow roughly, my throat swollen.
Incurable. Meaning …he dies?
"Are you sure? There's nothing else they can do?” I speak up, worriedly.
He nods, clearly already beginning to accept his fate. He is a man of dignity…but how was he going to accept that?! I refuse. What else would we live for? Without Edoardo!? How could he just roll over like that?
His face changes as if he wants to say something, but I’m already reeling. I know he can see it. The anger.. the hurt. So he holds it back… “Let’s just process it…” he says. “Take a few minutes…”
His nonchalance was gnawing at me.
He walks away toward the bed and my eyes follow him.
How is he able to be calm at a time like this?
How long has he had to process this? Has he known longer than me?
He seems to be staring thoughtfully at the ceiling, now, lost in his own world, as he sits down on the bed. I need him to talk to me. “Edoardo…” I say, my voice breaking.
He turns to look at me and smiles. “It’s going to be ok…”
The light from the window is fading. I’m not sure how long have we sit, in silence.
He’s going to die…
And I can’t stop it…
It’s crazy how a person can really just fuse themselves into your heart and soul.I fell in love with Edoardo years ago…We have children together…
I want to die with him.
The sun fades like an enemy and the night brings out the moon and the stars and shines brilliantly inside our open window. We’ve been sitting there for hours… just digesting the day…
We whisper in hushed voices so the kids can’t hear, as their rooms are just off of ours. I feel alive again for a moment as he makes jokes and smiles widely at me. I almost forget what we’ve been sitting here for…
I suppress giggles and smack him on the arm. It’s like he’s not sick…for a moment…
