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“Yeah,” he whispers, nodding. “You care about what he has to say and not me.”
I shake my head and pound toward him, halting just a few inches from him. “That’s not true.” I’m conflicted. On one hand, I want to help him out and make him feel like his voice matters. Because it does…
But on the other hand, he didn’t give me as good an input as Tony when it came to this mess with the Colombos.
“I feel like I’m being replaced…” he says faintly.
Believe it or not, I never even thought about that until he said it.
It pains me to think about it. But he has been lacking lately. What choice did I have?
He’s not on his game.
But neither am I…
And things have to keep moving…
We can’t lay down and wait for things to pass us by.
There’s a hole in my chest as I look at him, though. He’s looking through me, like I’m not even there. I’m a ghost. I can tell he's in pain. Seeing him that way crushes me. It’s not like him. Not in the slightest.
It’s times like this with his heart on his sleeve, and the fact that he’s been acting really shitty instead of coming to me, that makes me worry.
Is his heart even in this anymore?
I’m not even sure I can do this world without Luigi.
He looks at me intently. I feel like he’s my brother. He’s been there for me in the hardest times of my life. My father…
Edoardo…
Shit…
I’m getting mushy.
It’s like a warm tidal wave crashing into me. “You’re not being replaced…” I trail. “I don’t want to get all mushy right now, but I value your word more than anybody’s…”
But he’s still… distant…
I can basically see the guard up around him. When did that get there?
When did he put it up?
How long has he been resigned?
“Well, let’s go inside if you don’t want to grab dinner…” I mumble, crossing my arms in front of my chest, hugging myself.
I can tell that no matter what I say, I’m not getting through to him. Not outside like this.
I’m not the type to reassure, either, so I’m sure I suck at it. It’s a little too soft for my liking. My years have really weighed on me.
Dad and Edoardo’s deaths… they have severely calloused me and changed me. Some might say for the worst, but honestly, I think it’s just changed me for theonly…
This is survival.
This is how I have to be.
It’s like I’m looking at a stranger sometimes in the mirror, and sometimes I wish I could bring the old Aria back, but too much time has passed for that…
