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"Crimson."
I wondered if the woman held the burden of the city that stood tall in the background behind her. She had a sword strapped to her waist, and though her back faced us, she stood on the mountain, peering down at the town that was painted in black. It left me curious if she was about to enter the place or if she was looking back one more time.
"Crimson?"
Did she want to change the city, but couldn't handle the pressure of it all? Did she want to bring peace to the land, but failed in her multiple attempts? Or had she conquered her mission and was looking at the accomplishment she'd made, hoping to move on to the next city and bring a revolution of change?
A hand gently landed on my shoulder, but though the touch was tender, I flinched.
I looked to my right to see Akihiro, his green eyes filled with regret as he pulled back his hand.
"Sorry. I called your name three times," he admitted.
"Oh...really? It's my fault, I was just lost in my thoughts," I confessed.
Aki nodded, turning to face the large artwork.
I followed suit, returning my gaze to the beauty before me, hoping it would help give me the strength I so desperately needed.
I glanced down at Aki's left hand, the one that had landed on my shoulder.
I bet he felt bad, but my response wasn't his fault.
He knew that...all the guys did, but just from a tiny peek at his expression, I could see it had wounded him.
This whole process was hurting the guys, and I felt it would only get worse from here.
My instincts hadn't been wrong before. I just wished I'd listen to them more.
I wouldn't make that mistake again.
I reached out slowly, ignoring the slight tremble in my hand, and I wrapped my index finger around his.
He turned his head to look at me and peered down at my attempt to join hands.
"Can I hold your hand?" Aki whispered.
I slowly nodded, wanting to feel a bit of his warmth. I let go of his finger and his hand wrapped around mine. I held his hand as tightly as I could, as if he'd disappear and leave me alone in the empty museum.
It wasn't like the place was empty due to a holiday, but Aki and the others somehow had the connections to shut the place down for the evening, allowing me to get a private view of the famous museum.
I didn't feel like I needed it, and almost didn't leave my bed.
Yet, now that I was here in jeans, a pink tank top, and my favorite leather jacket, I was kinda of happy I took their advice to go out.
I guess being indoors for two weeks straight, wasn't much for 'therapy.' It wasn't like I didn't want to go out. It looked nice from the window, felt safe from afar.
But going out meant clothes, fake smiles, interactions, and trying to be someone I knew I couldn't project right now.
I couldn't be the strong, motivated Crimson. I was the broken Crimson who had to start from the bottom again. I'd have to climb up to be able to build my confidence and strength.
The thought of it was part of the reason I stayed in bed.
Starting from scratch after working so hard to build one’s foundation was hard. Especially when that foundation was oneself .
"Akihiro."
"Yes, Crimson."
