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“That’s very important work,” I comment, fixing my eyes to Jasper as the next question is for him. “What would you say to anyone questioning your ability to juggle planning a wedding and your newest business acquisition, Mr. Aroselyn?”
“I’d say it’s foolish to believe that there isanythingI can’t handle, Ms. Wallows.”
Dear lord. If only you knew, babe.
“Now for the fun stuff,” I prompt with a halfhearted smile. “I’ve been told you’d like to announce a date for the big day, is that true?”
“Yes, this next Fall. The estate is beautiful when the leaves are orange,” Lilian answers, beaming with a smile at Jasper. He gives her a tight smile in return.
My heart is nearly jumping out of my chest. They’ll be married in less than a year,in our favorite season. Probably in the garden. My garden.
“Wonderful,” I fake excitement, trying to steady my heart. “Of course everyone would like to know if you are planning on starting a family, but I understand you may not be comfortable answering–”
“We’d love children, we’re hoping to have one sooner than expected.” She giggles, wiggling her brows playful. Jasper winces as she says it.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
She’s pregnant. She’s fucking pregnant.
This can’t be happening. No. Anything but this.
He told me…
He said he didn’t want…
He said that we were enough… he didn’t need...
I’m going to throw up.
“Dixie? Are you okay?” Claire asks from her seat, looking up from her notes.
I can’t breathe.
No, I’m not okay!
“I’m so sorry, I’m not feeling well. Claire will finish the last two questions. I wish you both the best.” I practically fall out of my chair, racing out of the room.
People part ways as I storm through the building, avoiding bumping into any guests. My feet carry me out of the entire fucking building, halfway down the driveway, and then I snap. Tears spill down my face, drowning me in an uncomfortable, stuffy sadness. I don’t stop running, kicking off my shoes like a psychotic Cinderella, making my way down the driveway.I’m going to run all the way home. It’s like two hours driving, but I don’t care.
I. Can’t. Breathe.
This is all my fault.
I did this.
I could have told him.
Three years ago, I should have told him.
Once I’m off the property and outside of the gates, I slip and fall to my knees in the grass, letting a scream rip from my lungs. I scream like I’ve never screamed before. My voice cracks into a million pieces and my chest heaves as I try to breathe. I’m suffocating in my own panic. It feels like something is crushing my throat and all of the air I can get in isn’t enough.
Jasper is going to be a dad and I’m never going to be a mom. All of the promises we made have been broken, every single one of them.
The grass is wet from the sprinklers, ruining my dress but I can’t bring myself to care. I can’t move, or breathe or think and I’m pretty positive that my whole body is trembling. From the corner of my eye, headlights are visible approaching behind me. Assuming it’s a guest leaving, I stay put. I don’t care who sees me. I’ll fake an injury or something if I have to.
But the car doesn’t pass by. It stops.
“Dixie, get in the car,” Jasper commands.
