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“Let’s get this straight. We’re both being forced to do this—and frankly, you’re not my type. But I am willing to work on this marriage for my father’s sake.”
I have no idea what to say other than, “Um… sure.”
“Great.” He leans back in his chair. “Let’s start by being honest about what we expect from one another. I’ve already seen pictures of you. Looking at you know, I can see that your weight is going to be an issue. So, I’m going to really need you to step up and start taking care of yourself. If you want this to work, we’re going to get you a waist trainer, at the bare minimum.”
I feel my mouth drop open. “Ex…cuseme?”
“Also,” he waves a hand, continuing on like I haven’t spoken, “since we will be copulating, I expect you to… you know.”
He clears his throat, his cheeks becoming rosy all of a sudden.
“Take care of yourself downstairs.”
I stare at him. This guy is seriously nuts. Who does he think he is demanding these things from me within the first five minutes of our date?
“Great,” he says when I don’t say anything back, clearly taking that as my consent. “Moving on. Weekends are reserved for the boys. My father, brother and I all go deer hunting. So, you can do whatever you want on those days, but I expect you to be available throughout the week. Also, you’re going to need to know how to skin a deer, so I’m going to teach you how to do that step-by-step.”
What?
At this point, the waitress comes over and pulls out her notepad to take our order. I look down at the menus still under Ben’s hands. I didn’t even get a chance to look at it—
“We’ll both have the steak and steamed vegetables. And an extra side of rice for me.” Ben nods at me. “Protein and veggies are going to be your best friend. You know, for what we talked about.”
He has the audacity to wink at me.
As soon as he hands over the menus, he stands and tosses his folded napkin down onto the table.
“I’ll be right back.”
I crane my neck, watching him walk towards the back of the restaurant where the bathrooms are. I turn back around in my seat and sink back into it. What the hell am I getting myself into?
The waitress hovers over me, her eyes wide and concerned.
“He… comes here often.”
I glance over at her. “Who?”
The waitress nods towards the bathroom. “You know. To…”
I watch in horror as the waitress presses a finger to her nose and sniffs.
Oh god. She can’t be serious.
Without another word, the waitress scurries off and heads back to the front of the restaurant, making me sink further down into my chair and put my hands over my face. This is going to be my life… for the nexthoweverlong both of us live.
“Sorry,” Ben says, coming back to sit down at the table, pinching his nose.
I peek at him through my fingers, watching him sneeze into his napkin.
My stomach rolls.
He gives me a sheepish smile. “Allergies.”
I can’t do this.
I scoot my chair back without another word, grab my purse and head out of the restaurant.
This is going to be my life.
