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“You alright, Lily?” Jonas asked, interrupting my thoughts as we climbed in the elevator.
I nodded, but didn’t turn my head. I could feel his stare as we rode up to the suite.
I was alright, wasn’t I?
I climbed out and followed him to the door, walking in and quietly putting my things away as he took out his phone and started back to business.
I stood there for a minute, rubbing the center of my chest.
“Lily?” A slight rise to his voice. “Are you listening? I asked what you would like for dinner.”
I looked over at him and suddenly burst into tears. I had no idea why I was crying, but Jonas dropped his call and crossed the room, enveloping me. Pressing my head against his chest, tears continued to fall.
“Shhh. It’ll be alright,” he whispered.
I didn’t know why he said that to me, but it resulted in me leaning into the comfort he was readily willing to give. He walked us to the couch and surprised me by pulling me onto his lap.
Was it the Tantra?
All I knew was that the connection had me wanting him in ways I knew I shouldn’t. Comforting wasn’t part of the companionship, was it? Maybe he was right. I was too inexperienced to handle this. But the thought of backing out made me sob all the more, I didn’t want to not see Jonas. As I continued to cry, he whispered soothing words and stroked my back. When I had no more tears left, I stilled.
“Look at me.” Jonas captured my chin and I looked at him as tears started leaking out my eyes again. “Tell me what you are feeling.”
I gulped in air. I couldn’t tell him that the intimacy was already making me want a relationship. How could this be? We had only just met and started spending time together. Still, I felt closer to him in a way I never experienced with Declan. Sure, in our three years together I loved and learned a lot about him; however, I rarely recall him ever asking about my life or how I was feeling. Sex was our intimacy, but that’s where it ended. I was the one he leaned on to pick him up when he was down. When my parents were gone and I found I needed to be picked up, he wasn’t there or willing to give it to me. When he broke up with me and left, he took himself, his friends, and his life with him.
My heart felt heavy with the weight of my loneliness. No calls, no comfort, or care. And here I was now with a man I barely knew that went out of his way to try to make a connection with me. Touched me intimately and didn’t end it there when he could. He was right before me, still asking and wanting to know about me. I looked up at him and the warmth and concern reflected in his eyes made my chest ache.This is wrong, I thought. I needed to distance myself from him and keep what we had working for the both of us. I decided to tell him what I could, and what I hoped he would accept.
“The Tantra was intense. I just need a shower and some sleep. I didn’t know it would feel like that. And then… the car.” My breath hitched.
Jonas exhaled long. “Tantra is intense. Maybe it was too much too fast.” He studied me and I fought not to avert my eyes.
I plastered on a smile. I was falling for him and I knew that it was too fast. “I just need a shower and some sleep,” I repeated to him.
He leaned down and kissed me tenderly. “You haven’t had dinner.”
I shook my head, “I’m not hungry. Just tired….”
“Because you didn’t eat anything,” Jonas said, irritation in his tone. “I wasn’t happy with what you said about your body during the workshop, either. Is that why you try to avoid eating?”
I chewed my lip. “I just want to be healthy.”
“Part of being healthy is taking care of yourself,” he said. “As my companion, I expect you to eat with me.”
I tried to muster a frown in protest, but I felt drained. Perhaps he was right.Maybe I’m hungry.I tried to recall what I had eaten during the day, but couldn’t. I nodded to him.
“Good. What would you like for dinner?” Jonas asked. He moved me next to him and grabbed a menu.
“Soup and a salad,” I said, hunching my shoulders.
“Red snapper and chocolate ice cream for dessert,” Jonas said and winked at me.
My jaw dropped. “Why did you ask what I wanted?” I asked when he hung up the phone.
“I won’t next time,” Jonas said bluntly.
I smirked and then laughed, suddenly feeling slightly better. “You’re bossy. Luckily, I like red snapper and chocolate ice cream.”
He chuckled then pulled me close, nuzzling my neck. “I enjoyed tonight, but I barely got a taste of you. I want more.”
