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“Tell me,” he demanded.
“With Sophie—”
“Not a chance in hell, Nadia. There is no reality I’deverallow you to stay with her.”
“Allow?” I scoffed. “Listen to yourself. I’m not your property.”Not anymore.“You don’t have a say over what I do.”Something I’m still coming to terms with.“Look, I spoke to Sophie today and she’s offered me a room at her own place in Chelsea. She’s…changed.”I think.“She has a boyfriend who brings her flowers and kisses her on the street. She cooks and goes shopping with his mom.”
I spoke about things Sophie had with Landon that I coveted. On the other hand, Paul had done so much for me, and I felt not only embarrassed but immature for even comparing myself to her. Instantly, I wanted to take it all back. “Wait. That didn’t come out the way I meant—”
“You meant it, Nadia; otherwise, you wouldn’t have said it. But I also mean it when I tell you I don’t give a damn about what Sophie has or does with her life. I care aboutyou, and you’re too important to give your care to just anyone.”
My heart skipped a beat, and I cursed myself.Paul saying that doesn’t mean he wants me.
“Why do you do that to me?”
“Do what?”
“Tell me I’m important. Don’t you realize how cruel you are being? You don’t really want me.”
“I do want you. Damn it, Nadia, you know I do. I wouldn’t be on the phone in the middle of a meeting or willing to drop everything to fly to you if I didn’t want you.”
I wanted to believe him, but all I could think about was how Mom looked at me when I tried to share how tender and loving he’d been toward me.
It didn’t count because he paid me.
“Did you choose me because I needed money?” I squeezed my eyes shut, desperately wishing I hadn’t asked that question.
“No, Nadia. I chose you because I found you attractive. Now that I know you, I find you sexy, talented, tenderhearted, humorous, a great cook, and devoted to your family. Helping you is something I’m fortunately in the position to do.”
“Mr. Crane?” I heard in the background before he muffled the phone. He returned with a sigh. “I have to go. The mayor is waiting.”
“Themayor. You’re joking.”
“No, I’m serious. My family is a part of several boards that help business, art, and recreation funding in the state.”
“And you stopped your meeting with themayorto talk to me? That’s crazy.”
“What can I say? You have me out of my mind, Nadia. When it comes to you, I am crazy. Promise you’ll call me later.”
I touched my smile as a weight came off my chest, and a rush of energy filled my veins. “Fine, I will.” Even though I tried to sound casual, it was clear even to my ears that I was elated.
“Good. Talk to you soon, baby.”
The upbeat tone of his voice had me letting out a cry of exasperation when I hung up the phone.I can’t quit him, and he won’t quit me.
No matter how often I tell him no, he keeps coming for me. For sex. He also kept his search for a surrogate from me.Was I behaving like a pushover? Maybe. I didn’t like to fight.
All I wanted was to be friendly to everyone.
All I wanted was to be good enough. Loved.Kept.
I walked inside the kitchen just as Mom asked Ben, “Would you like to stay for dinner?”
“That’s a very generous and kind offer, but I’ll have to decline.” He turned to me. “I have a couple of things in the trunk to give you. Excuse me.” He left the table and went outside.
“Did you ask for your clothes to be sent here?” Mom asked.
“No, but Paul knew I hadn’t brought any with me.”
