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Hold him.
Fuck him.
Then crush him with affection.
He must have known I didn’t want Crisp. Why the hell did he need all the nasty details?
I hurried after him.
Since when do I chase?
Since when did I give someone my heart?
I caught up to him and tapped his hard-muscled arm I loved wrapped around me.
“Can we talk?” I asked, hating how desperate I sounded.
“Unless you’re about to tell me you’re not marrying Crisp, we have nothing to say.”
His voice had a cold bite to it. He didn’t even look at me, and when he did for a moment, his eyes resembled an emotionless void.
I knitted my fingers. “How can you have moved on so quickly? I thought you loved me.”
“You’re the one who moved on.” He turned and kept walking.
Pushed along by a desperate need to be near him, I kept going. “But you’ve got a new girlfriend.”
He stopped walking. “None of your fucking business. I owe you nothing. Now fuck off.”
His mean words stung like a whip against my arse, only it was my heart that hurt.
Was that the same gentle, sweet Drake whose soft touches were the last thing I felt before falling asleep in his arms?
I didn’t recognise this new cold and angry version.
Despite his cruel words, I tried to cling on tighter. Something I was good at. My father used to say horrible things, but I still chased his car whenever he left.
Drake crossed the road, and about to race after him, I came to an abrupt halt when a motorbike sped by. The force made me stumble onto the ground.
On the side of the road, I lay as uncontrollable sobs convulsed through me, like some stranded, unwanted soul who’d just crashed into a wall of apathy.
As I wallowed in self-pity, I felt myself being lifted off the ground.
“Are you okay?” His earlier cold tone had been replaced by gentle-voiced concern.
That same tender tone as when he loved me.
“No. Physically, I’m fine, though.”
I sat on the side of the road. He sat next to me and wiped away the dirt on my face.
“Can you stand up to show me you’re all right?” he asked.
Rising off the ground, I felt my legs wobble, and I fell into his arms. He held me, and our hearts beat as one. I could smell his bath soap and him, setting off warm ripples through me. Like I’d returned home after being lost and isolated.
I needed his body on mine to remind me I had a life worth living.
I hated how much I needed him. Just that one taste of love, and I’d become pathetically addicted.
