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“Dominic looks the same in this picture, but check you out, all baby-faced and no beard.”
I’d been clean-shaven my first few years in the military before I joined Delta ops and needed to grow facial hair in order to work undercover. “Yeah. Never again.”
Her gaze ping-ponged between me and the photo of me at twenty-four. “I prefer the beard.”
Surprising considering her date tonight had been clean-shaven. I opened up the paper bag and pulled out the package of carne asada, intent on making dinner, not on finding out what Addison wanted in a man.
“What can I do to help?”
“You can grab two beers from the fridge. I’m stepping out back to grill this. You’re welcome to sit outside, or I can bring the meat back once it’s done, and we can eat in here.”
“I’d love to see the backyard.”
Once outside, I flipped the switch illuminating the strings of lights hanging over the outdoor structure which housed a sitting area, complete with fans, a television, and my favorite, the outdoor barbeque.
Addison immediately exclaimed, “Wow. This is amazing.”
I fought the familiar self-consciousness over being able to enjoy such an incredible space. Logically, I knew it was stupid to begrudge myself material things, but here I was battling survivor’s guilt on a daily basis. Haunted by my friends and all the other soldiers who hadn’t made it home and didn’t have an incredible backyard to enjoy.
It was no coincidence that the better my life got, the more nightmares I suffered, reminding me I didn’t deserve any of it. Karma was out to tip the balance anytime I dared to want more than the life I was already living.
After heating the grill and putting on the meat, I turned to see her sipping her beer. “There are tortillas and fixings in the bag too. You a fan of avocado, sour cream, pico, lettuce, and tomato?”
“Yeah, but I’ll skip the tortilla.”
“Why?” I’d seen her eat a burrito in the lunch room just two days ago, so I knew she liked them.
She shrugged. “Decided to go a little lower on the carbs.”
“No.” I refused to let Tate the asshole get inside of her head with his comment about her weight.
“No? Like you’re going to shove a tortilla down my throat?”
“If that’s what it takes to convince you that you’re sexy with your curves, and no one should ever make you doubt it, then yes.”
She scoffed. “Yeah, okay. There’s feeling sorry for me and then there’s giving me a load of shit.”
I stalked the three steps it took to stand in front of her. “I never say anything I don’t mean, and you’re starting to piss me off.”
“Only starting, huh?”
I didn’t think. Only reacted. Putting my hands on her hips, I lifted her up onto the tiled counter of the island. Her wide eyes caused me to pause, but I didn’t remove my hands. “You’re sexy as hell.”
Her eyes went wider, but then she was shaking her head. “Nope. Cute, funny, sarcastic, I’d buy, even calling me pretty but—”
I didn’t let her finish. Instead, I slammed my lips onto hers. For a moment, I thought I’d made a grave miscalculation, and she wouldn’t reciprocate, but then her hands framed my face, and she was actively returning the kiss.
There was nothing gentle about the way I ravaged her mouth, yet she didn’t shy away, as if she was also fueled by weeks of pent-up desire.
My lips moved to her neck. “Don’t ever doubt me again when I say you’re sexy.” My teeth sank into her earlobe.
She moaned in response, the sound reverberating all the way down to my quickly growing erection. But just as the cloud of lust was about to take over all common sense, I pulled away, my gaze fixated on her swollen lips.
“I can’t give you a relationship.” Even if I wanted one, my limitations kept me from pursuing it. Hell, I couldn’t manage to sleep in the same bed as someone else.
“Okay.”
“Okay, you’re fine with this only being tonight?”
