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She flung her arm over her face. “Uh-huh. Good job.”
“Are you on birth control?”
She sat up, pulling the blanket up to cover her lower half. I fought an urge to snatch it away, but given the seriousness of the situation, perhaps it was for the best her gorgeous body was hidden and not serving as a distraction.
“No, I’m not.” She blew out a ragged breath. “They have those morning-after pills. I’ve never taken one before, but this is the situation they’re made for, right?”
“Yeah. I would assume in Vegas, of all places, they’d have them available at any pharmacy.”
“Leave it to me to cause this kind of mess.” She huffed, swinging her legs out of the bed, unsteadily getting to her feet, and searching for her clothing. “And of course, disaster can’t strike after I’ve eaten dinner. Nope. It always has to be before.”
“Would you stop blaming yourself? This is my fault.”
She raised a brow, grabbing her bra. “Yeah, this ever happen to you before? Or just with me?”
“Only with you, but—”
“But nothing. My ability to find mayhem at every turn shifted to you.”
“Stop.” I didn’t like her self-deprecation nor the fact she was evidently about to leave my house. “Stop getting dressed.”
“I have to get to a pharmacy.”
“First we’ll eat dinner, and then I’ll go to the pharmacy.” It was only right for me to make the trip.
She let out a long sigh, looking lost.
Tugging on her arm, I sat on the bed and pulled her into my lap, tucking her head under mine. Never one for cuddling, this was foreign territory, but I didn’t hate it. “This wasn’t your fault. Accidents happen.”
Her voice was soft. “Yeah, but they happen all the time to me. And I’m the one who put the whole idea of having a baby out there in the world.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The other night I decided I was done with dating and looking for a relationship and would instead have a baby by myself.”
My entire body stiffened at the thought of her getting pregnant with another man’s child.
She patted my chest. “Don’t worry, I’m not trying to make you a daddy. I’ll use a donor. Just saying the timing is ironic, don’t you think?”
“I thought you wanted the whole she-bang with the ‘relationship, marriage, picket fence, and minivan’ life?”
“At this rate, I can’t get past a first date. But there might be hope for me purchasing the sweet van someday.”
“Why the hurry to have kids?” I asked the question without judgment, curious to know since she was still pretty young.
“When I was growing up an only child, I always wanted siblings. And my mom made no secret about wishing she could’ve had more kids. But she didn’t meet my dad until she was close to forty, and then she could only have me because of a history of endometriosis, which I’ll most likely have too. I don’t want to take the chance of waiting too long and have regret if I’m not fertile. And since I want at least three kids, I don’t want to wait until I’m in my thirties to start having them. Anyhow, like I said, don’t worry. I’m on board with taking the morning-after pill.”
“You’d rather have kids with a random donor than with someone you know?”
She chuckled. “‘Rather’ isn’t the word I’d use, but it’s the reality. Not like guys are lining up to become baby daddies. Let’s hope it’ll be easier to navigate sperm donors than online dating. Less dick pics involved at least.”
Here she was, unable to find a good man but wanting kids. And here I was, unable to manage a relationship but wanting kids. I’d closed the door on the idea of fathering children, though, because I couldn’t possibly provide the romance and intimacy necessary for a marriage.
But what if there was a possibility I could co-parent with someone non-traditionally? We could both get what we both ultimately wanted while avoiding the minefield of love. “What if I agreed to be the father?”
She leaned back, her eyes wide. “Are you messing with me?”
“I want kids.” It was the first time I’d dared say the words out loud. And as soon they were spoken, I was hit with a wave of insecurity. What kind of dad would I make when I couldn’t control my nightmares? When I struggled with survivor’s guilt and felt as though I didn’t deserve happiness? “Forget I said anything.”
