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“Are you sure? You must be in so much pain.”
I trail my hands gently down over his chest to prove my point, and he stops my progress just as I reach the spot above his heart. His fingers wrap around mine, holding me there, and I can feel the thrum of his heartbeat that matches the heart monitor’s soft blips. It’s so strong and steady–such a contrast to the near nonexistent one I searched so desperately for on the sidewalk of the Magnificent Mile.
“I’m sure,” he says after a long moment.
“Okay.” I nod as my own heart does a somersault.
Rising slowly from the bed, I make my way to the far side of the room and lock the door. Then I turn and make my way back to him, pulling my simple yellow sweatshirt up over my head as I go. Ilya growls with appreciation as I strip to my bra and then slide my leggings down over my hips. My panties go shortly after, and the hunger in Ilya’s gaze as I reach the bed makes my stomach quiver.
Ilya offers me his hand as I stand beside him, and I place mine lightly in his. His strong fingers close around mine, nearly swallowing my hand in his large one, and he pulls me to him, kissing me as his arm encircles my waist.
Carefully, I ease onto the bed beside him, balancing so I won’t disrupt the mattress and cause him any unnecessary pain. Ilya helps me, his hands finding my hips as he keeps me steady. Undressing him proves far less of a challenge as I slide his blanket down and then lift his surgical gown, exposing his already impressive erection.
I palm it gently, stroking it as I show him how grateful I am that he’s alive and here with me. Ilya groans as his eyes ease closed and his head falls back against his pillow.
“I’ve missed you,” I whisper, and my sincerity strikes straight to my heart. Leaning down, I take his cock in my mouth and start to slide up and down his length.
“God, I’ve missed you,” Ilya says as his hand rests on the back of my head and his fingers comb into my hair.
His cock twitches, seeming to silently confirm it, and my core tightens. I lavish him with attention, sucking him slowly as my tongue strokes the thick vein along the back of his erection.
“Fuck, Whitney, you feel so good,” he murmurs, and the sound of my name so sensual on his tongue makes my body come to life. “Come here,” he commands gently.
I obey, hardwired to do as he says because I know that whatever Ilya has planned, I’m going to enjoy. Sliding up the bed, I lean next to him, bringing my face close to his.
“You are so beautiful,lyubimaya.” His fingers graze lightly across my cheek and then down my throat to my collarbone. Inch by inch, he makes his way down my naked flesh, making my hair stand on end with his feather touch.
When his hand finds my breast, he cups it, massaging it against his palm, and I shiver with pleasure. His free hand, resting down by my hip, grips me, pulling me forward and up as he guides my nipple closer to his lips, and he wraps them around the hard nub, sucking it lightly as his tongue flicks across the round tip.
I gasp at the electric sensation racing through my core. My pussy tightens, and my nipples pucker further. Both of Ilya’s strong hands find my hips, and he shifts me, guiding me on top of him so I’m straddling his hips. Reaching between us, I grip his hard cock and guide him toward my entrance.
My nipple slips free of his mouth with a light pop, and a delicious smile spreads across his face. He cups the back of my head, bringing my lips down to his as I ease onto his erection. A collective groan ripples between our lips as his cockhead presses inside me, and I take it slowly, careful not to do anything that might reinjure Ilya in some way.
The feeling of him sliding inside me, stretching me and filling me sends tingles down my spine. Somehow, though we’ve had sex countless times together, this is entirely different. The way he kisses me tells me silently that he’s not claiming my body. He’s claiming my soul. And just as I’ve trusted him so wholeheartedly with my physical pleasure during our time together, I find it effortless to trust him with my heart as well.
I move gently on top of him, rocking my hips slowly so I can feel every inch of him sliding in and then back out. And as we make love for the first time, I’m struck by the incredible amount of symmetry it has with our first time together, when he was so gentle with me as he took my virginity, ensuring he didn’t hurt me. Only this time, the affection between us is infinitely deeper.
Ilya’s arms wrap around me, his fingers spreading to cover my flesh as he holds me close. I keep my hands braced on the mattress on either side of his shoulders, unwilling to add any unnecessary pressure to his brutalized back. But he doesn’t seem to care. As we move together, his hips rocking slowly in time to match mine, I can feel him swelling inside me. My heart fills with intense happiness to know he enjoys making love to me gently as much as he likes fucking me roughly. Maybe even more.
Because I can feel him growing closer to release, matching my own scintillating desire as I relish the sensation of his perfect size that fits me like a puzzle piece. The taste of his lips is tantalizing, and knowing I get to kiss him whenever I want fills me with a deep, throbbing satisfaction.
“Oh, god, I’m coming,” I whimper moments before my release. It struck me so suddenly and with such force that the confession slips from my lips like an apology, a lingering remnant of my years as Ilya’s sub.
But that only seems to trigger Ilya’s own release, and as the first powerful shockwave of euphoria blasts through my body, making my skin tingle and my knees weak, I can feel Ilya burst inside me.
His breaths come in gasps, washing over my face and mingling with my own as we try to stay silent in our ecstasy. His fingers press into my back, his muscular arms flexing around me as Ilya holds me firmly, his warm cum spurting deep inside my core. My clit throbs in response, my pussy gripping him as I shudder in his embrace.
And as deep contentment seeps through my body, making my limbs heavy, I know that I’m right where I belong. As we still, Ilya buried in my depths, he brushes a feather-light kiss across my lips. One hand comes up to hook my chin as Ilya silently tells me to look him in the eye. His other arm keeps me close, my breasts pressed firmly to his chest.
“I love you, Whitney,” he murmurs, his dark eyes full of silent promises.
Overwhelming joy washes through me, warming me at the sound of those sweet, sweet words. “I love you too, Ilya.” And I know it to my very core. I love this man without reservation or restraint. He’s my best friend, my protector, and the man I never want to live without.
I don’t know that I ever could have found love without Ilya, without the struggles we’ve endured together. He showed me that love can exist, that it doesn’t always make sense, that it isn’t even always a choice. But when you find a person who connects with your very soul, who understands you better than you understand yourself, then maybe, just maybe, love can be a glorious thing.
Ilya and I were both broken as we tried to make it through our separate lives–like random, misshapen pieces that seemed to have no proper place or purpose in this world. And yet, somehow, our oddities fit together like puzzle pieces falling into place. I can see the big picture now, with Ilya by my side. And suddenly, the world is a far more beautiful place to me.
EPILOGUE
