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“Your apprehension?” His body moved toward mine and I noticed again how beautiful his hazel eyes were as they stared down at me. “At what?”
“Gatherings. Society. London.” I threw my hands up slightly. “All of it. All of them. The people, everyone is so much…all the time. And I do not feel like I fit in amongst them. But I am supposed to fit in nevertheless. As a young lady of society, I ought to be amiable, full of wit, charm, and grace. It took all my energy to manage for my brother’s sake so he would not worry for me. Now that he is gone and I am alone here, all I wish to do is run and hide. So yes, I am looking to escape. Because I wish to escape!”
“Can I tell you a secret?” he asked gently, and I was surprised by the question.
“Yes?”
“The only people who do not wish to run away are the people who cannot belong,” he replied and frowned.
“Are you a philosopher or a doctor?”
“Which are you in need of?”
“Neither.” I sulked.
He laughed at me and it sounded…nice. His whole face lit up and it made him look quite handsome.
“Then I shall simply be a person, and say, it is all right, Lady Verity. There are a great deal of lords and ladies who never venture into society, nor request that society come to them. They live their days quietly on their estates with no care for anything else.”
“How do I do that?”
“You marry a lord with a fine estate, I believe.”
I groaned, my shoulders drooping in a rather unladylike manner. “Why do people say that as if it were easy? Marriage is…forever. And the person one marries has the power to turn the greatest estate into the greatest of miseries. Believe me, I know.”
“Have you been married before?”
I gasped, eyes wide. “Of course not!”
He laughed at me again. “Then how can you speak with such certainty?”
“I—I…Are you not against the institution as well? Also, is it not odd for you to be so after confessing your feelings for me?”
“No, I think not, as I do not have the mind to marry,” he said, glancing up at the colorful bird that came to him, perching upon his hand.
“Are you admitting to being a rogue?”
“No, I admit I am a bastard,” he replied as he stroked the bird gently. “Nothing can ever come of my feelings, I am aware. So I have no thoughts beyond their existence.”
I frowned, not liking that at all. “If that were true you would not have told me.”
“It was you who pressed for an answer at dinner.”
“You cannot lie?”
“You seem keenly able to discern the truth from me. Besides I was far too unsettled to think of a believable lie.”
I laughed at the childish pout and frustrated brow on his face. “Are you not meant to be a genius, Dr. Darrington? I heard you and the marquess speak endlessly on ancient works.”
“They are not so ancient, and while I am not a fool I am no genius, especially not when I am faced with…”
“Young ladies seeking to run away from society?” I grinned.
“You. Exactly.” He smiled back.
“Nevertheless, you ought to do better.”
“How so?”
“In your confessions, it is hardly romantic to say such a thing over a ragout of beef.”
“Understood. I shall say it over the roasted beef next time.”
I giggled so hard I snorted, and quickly covered my mouth. “Pardon me!”
“Whatever for? You are magnificent,” he said and I froze. The look on his face, the gentleness of his smile, I had never seen it directed toward me before.
The longer I stared the more I heard my heart thumping away in my chest. I knew not what to say. Suddenly another bird, similar in size to the one on his hand but colored all blue, flew right by my face. I jumped back, startled as I watched the two birds fly around each other.
“Are they fighting?” I asked, staring as they moved up to the tree. I watched as they pushed against each other over and over.
“No,” he replied, watching them as well. “They are hugging each other.”
“Birds do that?”
“These ones do, especially when they are in love.”
“What?” I glanced back at the pair. They did seem unable to separate, just like…just like lovers. “They are in love?”
“This species of parrot is known for their devotion. So much so they are called lovebirds,” he explained with a soft amusement on his face. “They are monogamous birds, and once they court each other they remain together their whole lives. If one of them dies or gets separated from the other, they grow very distressed and can even die of misery.”
“Truly?” I gasped, stunned as I looked. “They grieve more even than people.”
“Some people, for sure,” he responded.
“Where have they come from?”
