Page 106 of The Coldest Winter


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As he laid beside me, I moved closer, fitting against his body as if he were my missing puzzle piece. My head fell to his chest, and I listened to his heartbeats. He held me in his arms for hours, making love to me spontaneously throughout the night. Filling me up with his passion and sealing said love with kisses all over my body. He loved me in all ways possible that night. Hard and intensely. Slow and romantically. He laid every version of love against me, making it impossible for me to doubt said love.

I didn’t feel like we were saying goodbye when the sun rose. I only felt closer to him. We imprinted on one another’s souls, and the promise of forever was preserved for us both.

Milo was slow to get out of bed. He collected my clothes and dressed me. His hands caressed my chilled skin, feeling every inch of me.

After he stepped into his sweatpants, we moved to the porch, and he wrapped his hand around my neck, pulling me closer. His kiss was long and slow, and I wished it could’ve lasted for the remainder of my days. A part of me was afraid to pull away, but then I remembered what he had shown me the prior night and what I’d be coming home to later.

“Can you make me a promise?” I asked.

“Anything.”

“Can you not stay by yourself? Let your friends and family care for you when you need them, okay? When things get hard, don’t face those issues alone.”

“I promise,” he said. “Can you make me a promise?”

“Anything.”

“When you’re done finding yourself...” He placed his lips against my forehead and gently kissed me. “Please come find me.”

CHAPTER 38

Milo

Don’t get over it. Get under it.

Eric’s words stayed with me as I went into the week ahead. I missed Starlet so much that it was hard to focus on anything else. But I also knew if I ever wanted to be the man she deserved, I had to focus on myself, on my life, and on getting it back together the best I could. I first had to be my best self for myself so I could be my best for her. I also had to give her space to become the person she was meant to be, too.

Still, missing her didn’t get easier. I allowed myself to drown a bit in that sadness. I realized how lucky I’d been to be able to miss a person like her. It was a damn honor to even know a love like hers.

“I can give you the letter now,” Weston mentioned as I sat across from him in his office on a Monday morning.

I stared at my uncle, a tad bit confused. I hadn’t slept in a while, and the few hours I did sleep weren’t the greatest. I’d been tossing and turning most nights. Staying in the house where my parents raised me without said parents felt bizarre. I hadn’t even known how quiet the house could be. I missed the small sounds of Dad walking around. Him opening and shutting doors while cursing at the television. Now, there was nothing but silence. I didn’t know that silence could be so painfully loud. I couldn’t wait for Dad to come back.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“The letter from your mother that she wrote you for your graduation. I can give it to you now if you want.”

I narrowed my eyes. Was he really offering me that? Was the letter on him now? I could’ve really used a letter from Mom at that very moment. I felt so distant from her lately. Not even the sunrises and recipe cards seemed like enough to push me through.

I could’ve said yes.

I could’ve ripped open the letter from her and fed on the words she crafted to try to give me a sliver of hope.

But she said it was meant for graduation.

How could I go against her wishes?

“I’m okay,” I told him, surrendering the opportunity. “But thanks.”

Weston grimaced. “If you change your mind, just let me know. I know you have Starlet to help you get through these issues, but—”

“We broke up.”

He paused, stunned. “What?”

“I ended things with her. I figured I have too much going on in my life, and I had already ruined hers a good amount. Therefore, I thought it was best to go our own ways.”

“Is this about me finding out? Because I told Starlet—”

“It has nothing to do with you, Weston. It was my choice. Our lives are just in two different places right now. My focus has to be on school and getting better. Hers has to be on her life. We couldn’t figure it out.”

“Yet.” He cut in. “You couldn’t figure it out yet.”

I snickered. “Weren’t you the one who was against us when you found out?”

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