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“Put that away and get to class,” she ordered.
The hallways were pretty empty, probably because she was right. I was supposed to be in a class like everyone else in the school. What class, though? What hour was it? Shit. The letter. I needed to get the letter.
“I gotta get to class for the letter,” I muttered. My head felt a bit fuzzy, and my stomach flipped a few times. I went to pop the pill into my mouth, and Starlet hit it out of my hand.
“Milo, what the heck are you doing? You can’t just pop pills in school,” Starlet scolded. She was sounding more and more like a teacher. Bummer.
“You didn’t want it.”
“That’s because I don’t do drugs.”
“But life would be so much better if you did, Teach.” I stumbled a bit, and she caught me. Her eyes locked with mine, and I released a sigh. “You have beautiful eyes,” I repeated.
“Milo. Stop it.”
“I’m not feeling great, Teach.”
“Yeah. That’s clear.”
“I can’t fail. I can’t. I need that letter. I need it.”
She narrowed her eyes at me, confused. She wouldn’t understand. No one would understand. She glanced around the hallway, then sighed. “Come on. We gotta get you sobered up.” She began pulling me down the hallway and around a corner. We went down a flight of stairs, and she opened a janitor’s closet. She pulled me inside and shut the door behind us.
“Sit,” she ordered, pushing me to the floor. Next, she blocked the door with a broomstick so no one could get inside.
“Are we going to get naked now?” I murmured. Shit, I was messed up.
“What? No. Gosh, you’re messed up,” she muttered as she went digging through her briefcase. She pulled out a water bottle and held it out toward me.
I shoved it away. “No.”
“You need to sober up, Milo.”
“No. My father needs to sober up, not me. I’m fine. I’m good. I’m happy,” I blubbered out, waving my hand in her direction. “I’m okay.”
I looked up at her and saw the sad expression in her eyes.
“You have beautiful eyes,” I repeated.
Her frown deepened. “You’re going to be okay, Milo.”
“I told you, I’m okay,” I murmured, slouching over against a mop bucket.
She moved over to me, placed her hand under my chin, and held the water bottle to my lips. I could hardly open my eyes. Everything felt heavy and light all at the same time. Every movement felt like a chore. Through my hooded stare, I still saw her eyes. Those fucking eyes.
“Sip,” she ordered.
“No,” I said, pushing the bottle away.
“Sip,” she repeated.
“I hate you,” I grumbled, not wanting to drink.
“Good,” she replied. “That means you still know how to feel. Now, sip.”
Sip, I did.
“You’re going to be okay, Milo,” she said once more, and for some reason, that made my chest tighten even more.
“She’s gone,” I whispered, feeling myself seconds away from spiraling. “She’s really gone,” I blurted out before curling into a ball and losing myself. Starlet didn’t say another word. She placed a comforting hand on my back and rubbed it in a circular motion. Every now and again, she’d make me sip the water. At one point, I fell asleep. Or I passed out. It was hard to say. All I knew was that Starlet’s hand was still resting against my back when I came to.
Her words echoed like a lie in my head.
You’re going to be okay, Milo.
You’re going to be okay, Milo…
How?
How would this…how would I ever be okay again?
CHAPTER 10
Starlet
I was risking everything by sitting in that janitor’s closet with Milo. I didn’t even know why I’d done it. If anything, I should’ve reported his inappropriate actions to the front office and had them discipline him. Yet something in my gut didn’t want him to be seen in that fashion. I didn’t know him, but I felt it was my job to protect him. To help him get through whatever he was dealing with.
Plus, the hurt in his eyes…
What are you doing, Star?
My whole future was being jeopardized, everything I’d worked toward, for a mere stranger. If I were caught in the broom closet with this guy, it’d be the end of any part of me that wanted to be a teacher. My dreams would be tarnished within a moment’s time due to a rushed decision to shove Milo into a closet.
What happened to him? I knew he was a lot, and I knew he had a handful of pain based on his brownish greens, but that day felt different. Especially with the few clues I’d received about him mentioning his father’s drinking. Was he in a safe situation? What struggles did he face alone, and why was he using drugs to push those struggles down?
I texted Mr. Sloan that a personal situation had arisen and that I wouldn’t be able to make it to class that afternoon. Another bad decision. What was it with me making bad choices when it came to being around Milo Corti?
