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“Eye disease?” I cut in. “What do you mean, eye disease?”
She paused before picking up a pencil and scribbling down some information. “More tests are needed to rule out retinitis pigmentosa, but we are not able to perform them here. Here is a name of a remarkable ophthalmologist. They will be able to run the proper testing such as electroretinography tests, fundus autofluorescence tests, and a variety of others.”
She kept talking, but my brain shut down.
Her mouth was moving, and words were coming out, but I couldn’t process what was being said to me. The words eye disease were the only things playing on a loop in my mind. I couldn’t process what it meant or how to handle that situation on my own.
I should’ve been asking follow-up questions, but Mom always did that. I should’ve called Dad, but he wouldn’t have answered.
“Am I going blind?” I blurted out as I choked on the words.
Her sad smile returned, but she didn’t answer my question. “You’ll meet with the ophthalmologist and will be able to get more answers. You’ll need someone to drive you to the appointment when you go in since your eyes will be dilated after the tests.”
She said some more bullshit, but I was officially checked out.
It was only midday, and I could’ve driven back to school to finish the afternoon, but my dad called me out for the rest of the day for the appointment. I did text Starlet and told her I’d meet her for our session in the library that afternoon.
I showed up at the study room three hours before she’d arrived. I sat there on my phone, researching retinitis pigmentosa on the internet. The more I searched, the scarier it became. The early symptoms were all things I’d experienced throughout the past few years. Night vision issues. Peripheral vision issues. Temporary blackouts.
The later-stage symptoms were what terrified me the most, though. Loss of vision. Blindness.
I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to scream, yell, and cuss at the God I didn’t believe in. Instead, I sat in the quiet study room of the quiet library and stared at the words on my phone. With each second that passed, I became increasingly numb to the reality set out in front of me.
Blind…
I was going blind.
One moment.
One situation.
One sentence.
That was all it took for a person’s world to turn on its head.
CHAPTER 23
Starlet
“You are never here before me. I guess you need to miss out on school more often than not to have you show up on time, huh?” I joked as I walked into the study room to find Milo sitting there. He smiled up at me, but it felt off. The smile didn’t eliminate the bleakness in his eyes. Something was troubling him.
That was the thing about falling for a person—you noticed every tiny detail about them. Which meant you could tell when something was off.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, setting my bag down.
“Nothing. Just tired, that’s all.”
“How did the eye appointment go?”
“It was fine,” he said with a tiny smile. “How are you?”
I narrowed my eyes. “How are you?”
He laughed, but it wasn’t his normal laughter. The sound made me uneasy. “You can’t answer a question with a question.”
“Sure I can.” I took a seat. “Are you happy today?”
His words told me yes, but his smile told me no. Yet, if I’d learned anything about Milo, it was not to push him when he wasn’t ready to open up.
“I already finished all my homework for the week,” he told me. “I could’ve told you that via text, but I just kind of wanted to see you.”
Butterflies.
A flurry of freaking butterflies.
“Oh. Okay. Well, what are we going to do for the next hour or so?”
“This is going to sound stupid, but…” He leaned forward and clasped his hands together. “Can we just stare at one another for a little while?”
“Milo. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Everything’s fine.”
“You’re lying.”
“I’m lying.”
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. His eyes grew glassy and became packed with emotions. “Star,” he whispered.
“Yes?”
His lips parted, but he hesitated. His brows lowered, and I swore a flash of sadness crossed his stare, but it disappeared so quickly that I wasn’t even sure it really occurred.
“What is it?” I questioned.
“I think I’m going blind.”
I froze in place for a few moments before speaking. “What did you just say?”
“I think I’m going blind.”
He said the same words again, and still, they didn’t register.
“I’m sorry, what?” I asked once more.
“I’m going—”
“No, you’re not.” I cut in.
My voice cracked.
My heart did, too.
Milo grimaced and studied his fidgeting fingers before looking back up at me. “It’s called retinitis pigmentosa. I learned about it at the eye appointment. I have to go to a specialist to get it officially diagnosed, but I’m certain that’s what it is. And over time, my vision will only get worse.”
