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“You’re here now. That’s all that matters. Let’s get moving. I’m exhausted.”
She agreed, putting the car into drive. Once we reached my house, I saw Dad’s car in the driveway. An instant burst of comfort hit me seeing it. At least he was home and not hurt. That comfort shifted straight to humiliation within seconds.
Starlet cleared her throat. “Um, a guy’s pissing in your front bushes.”
I looked to my left toward the house, and there he was, Father dearest, pissing in the bushes with his ass out on public display.
“Shit,” I huffed, hopping out of the car. I darted over to him, not making it before he stumbled backward and fell to the ground with his damn dick in his hands. “What the are you doing, Dad?”
“Fuck off,” he muttered, waving his hand toward me. Then he began singing “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” by Frankie Valli, and my heart shattered because that was his and Mom’s wedding song. They used to dance to it all the time in our living room.
“Dad, get up,” I urged, pulling up his boxers and pants. I buttoned them as he rolled back and forth, still singing, still drunk out of his mind. I tried to lift him, but he was too heavy to do it alone. When he looked at me, his singing came to a halt, and his already glassy eyes intensified as he said, “You have her eyes. I can’t look at you because you have her eyes.”
Another fracture to my heart.
“Come on, Dad. Let’s get inside,” I whispered as my voice cracked.
“Today’s our wedding anniversary,” he told me before returning to singing his song. There they were—my father’s cracks. I didn’t even realize what today had been. I didn’t hesitate to go on with life that morning when I woke up. But for him, it was a day of hurt. Of struggle. Of pain. Another day, another memory of the woman he loved more than life.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my eyes stinging as I tried to get him up.
“Here, let me help,” Starlet said, rushing over. I looked at her with such shame on my face, but she didn’t say anything. She simply bent down and grabbed Dad’s other arm.
“It’s their anniversary,” I whispered to her, feeling embarrassed that I hadn’t remembered.
She nodded in understanding and went to help him stand. “Don’t worry. We got you, Mr. Corti. We got you.”
“Jacob,” I softly told her. “His name is Jacob.”
She smiled a little. “We got you, Jacob.”
Dad's drunken eyes fell on Starlet as we got him to a standing position. “Dance?” he asked before taking her into his arms and swaying her back and forth.
“Dad—” I started.
“I’d love to,” Starlet replied, holding him up the best she could. I stood back, watching the two of them sway. Dad sang his song to Starlet, holding her as if he refused to let go. The situation was odd, heart-shattering, and absurd, but it was happening.
My father drunkenly danced with my secret girlfriend as he sang his wedding song on my parents’ anniversary. He leaned against her as if she was the last hope he had left inside of him. Starlet allowed him to do so, to feel what he needed to feel at that very moment.
Then she began to sing along with him.
After a while, Starlet and I managed to get Dad inside the house. I put him to bed while Starlet grabbed a glass of water and ibuprofen to set on his nightstand. We moved out of the room, closing the door behind us, and I felt an overwhelming need to have her in my arms. I pulled her close to me, and she fell into my body.
“I’m sorry about all of that,” I whispered.
“Don’t be. I’m glad I was here to help.”
I dropped my hold on her and rubbed my hand against the nape of my neck. “I feel like such a dick. I didn’t even realize what today was. The whole time I was waiting for him to pick me up, I was cursing him out in my mind. Thinking he was a shit dad for leaving me stranded. When, in reality, he was drowning all day. He was trying his best. I’m an asshole.”
“You’re not. You didn’t know, Milo.”
“Which is another issue. I didn’t know. I should’ve known what today was. I should’ve been there for him or something, but I’ve been living in my own shit that I didn’t even consider how he was doing. Or how many days he had that held importance that I didn’t even think of.”
“I think you’re both just doing your best at every moment. Life is hard, complicated, and tiring. You’re both just tired. It’s okay to rest. Please don’t be so hard on yourself or him. Today’s a hard day, and that’s okay. We’re strong enough to make it through the hard days. Everything’s gonna work out fine.”
