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“It’s not right!” she shouted at me. “How is this fair to you or him?! I get it all, and you guys have to fucking share me. How the fuck is that okay?!”
“Because we want you, West!” I barked at her, beginning to lose my temper with her. Fuck, she was so stubborn! “We both want you, baby girl,” I repeated, forcing my voice to lower. “Not anyone else. I fucking love you, West, with every goddamn little piece of me.” Her eyes suddenly well with tears, breaking my heart. She’d gone without so much love and adoration in her life that when someone was giving it to her, she didn’t know how to receive it. “I love you so fucking much that I hate seeing you look at him with so much fucking longing in your eyes, yet you feel like he’s unattainable. Stop hurting yourself, baby. Just give in to it.”
“I can’t,” she choked out. “You’ve done so much for me, Jessie, and I can’t shit all over that and everything we’re trying to build together, especially so soon in our relationship, by being with him, too.”
“West, baby, I’m literally standing here telling you to be with him, too,” I reminded her.
She dropped the wrench from her hand as tears slid down her cheeks. She brought her hands up to cover her face, to hide from me.
“No, baby,” I crooned. I moved forward and drew her into my arms. “West, baby, please don’t cry,” I begged. I fucking hated to see her upset like this. It gutted me.
“I hate that you’re so good to me,” she whimpered. “I’m a shitty person.”
“No,” I disagreed. Reaching up, I cupped her face in my hands. “You’re one of the strongest people I know, and you deserve the goddamn world, West. Talk to me, baby. Tell me what’s going on in your mind. What’s got you so worked up the past couple of days?”
She drew in a deep breath, looking conflicted for a moment before she decided to speak again. “I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder a few months ago,” she told me. I kept my eyes steady on hers. I honestly wasn’t all that shocked at the news. I knew she had to have some form of depression. You didn’t have as shitty of a childhood as she did and not have some kind of mental illness from it. “I get these little episodes—manic episodes, they call them—where I’m happy and cheerful.” She shrugged helplessly. “But then, randomly one day, I wake up and I feel like my entire world is going to shit, and I can’t drag myself out of it.”
“Are you on medication for it?” I asked her.
She shook her head at me. I frowned. “The meds are too expensive out of pocket, and I don’t have insurance to help cover any of the costs.”
I tugged her into my arms. She sighed softly and wrapped her arms around my waist, resting her head on my chest. I pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll see what I can do about putting you on my insurance,” I told her. “We’ll get you what you need, baby girl.”
She shook her head. “Jessie—”
“Nope. Keep your arguments to yourself.” She huffed, making me chuckle. “You need medications, baby girl.” I gently grabbed her chin and tilted her head back to look at me. “For right now, I want you to go in that office, and I want you to rest, read a book, something,” I ordered. I brushed the pad of my thumb over her bottom lip. She sighed softly, her eyes shutting momentarily as she drew comfort from me. “And I want you to talk to Lincoln, babe. Don’t shut him out.”
“He doesn’t want me, Jessie, or at least, he won’t when he finds out just how fucked up I am.”
I narrowed my eyes at her in a warning to shut the fuck up. “You’re not fucked up,” I growled. Her eyes widened at my aggressive tone. “I don’t ever want to hear you say that shit again, you got me?” I leaned down and softly kissed her. “Now, get in that office, talk to him, and then rest.”
I released her and lightly tapped her ass. She shot me a glare over her shoulder, but I only smirked at her.
She huffed and walked into the office, where Lincoln still was.
I turned back to the car in front of me before I pulled my phone up to my ear to make a call to my insurance company.
It was time to get my baby girl everything she needed.
16
West
Lincoln was staring out of the window when I stepped into the garage office. He didn’t turn to face me when I entered. I swallowed nervously, truly afraid that I had already fucked everything up between us. I knew I was conflicted with everything, knew I was terrified of starting anything with Lincoln, but I was terrified of losing him, too.
