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“West, he fucking walked away from you. I can’t—”
“Can’t what, Jessie?” I demanded. “Fucking move past it?” I asked. He clenched his jaw. “Well, guess what, guys? I’m barely getting any fucking rest because you two are tense as fuck in bed at night. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around both of you. Fix this,” I ordered, pointing between the two of them. “Until you two work out this shit between you, I’m sleeping in the spare bedroom.” I pointed my finger at them when they got ready to protest. “Do not fucking come disturb me until you’ve sorted your problems because I will see through any façade you put up,” I snapped.
With that, I stormed up the stairs and into the spare bedroom to go take a much-needed nap, hopefully one that would be a bit more restful than the past few nights of sleeping between Jessie and Lincoln.
I was so over their bullshit. If I could move past what happened, so could they.
33
Lincoln
Jessie clenched his jaw. “I don’t even know how to fix this shit between us,” Jessie snapped. He stood up from the couch and paced to the window, his back rigid with tension. He turned to face me, anger glittering in his dark eyes. “I fucking trusted you with her, Lincoln.”
I sighed and leaned forward to brace my elbows on my knees, linking my fingers together in front of me. I had been worshipping West since she’d let me back in, doing everything I could to make myself the tiniest bit worthy of that easy forgiveness that she gave me.
I still didn’t feel like I deserved it.
And on top of all of that, I’d caused a rift between me and the one person in this world who had never given up on me.
I’d not only let West down—I’d let Jessie down, too. I broke his trust in me. This rift between us went deeper than just West.
“I’m sorry,” I gruffly spoke up. “I know that doesn’t make up for shit, but I’m fucking sorry. I’m doing everything I can to make this shit up to her.”
Jessie sighed. “Fuck, Lincoln, I know you are. You’re practically breaking your fucking back to make this shit right with West, even though she still looks at you like you could do no fucking wrong.” He drew in a deep breath. “Lincoln, I need West as much as she needs both of us.” I looked up at him. “I almost lost her because you walked away. I’m terrified you’re going to do that shit again.”
I shook my head at him. “I’m never fucking walking away from her again, Jessie. Doing that was one of the biggest fucking mistakes in my life—one I’ll never make again.”
Jessie sighed. “We’ve both fucked up with her,” he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I fucked up worse than you did,” I bitterly reminded him.
Jessie pushed his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, but I gave her the cold shoulder while she was here trying to be close to me. Sometimes, that can be worse than walking away.” He blew out a harsh breath. “But you didn’t turn your back on me, bro, not like I’m doing you.”
I swallowed thickly. “Jessie, you and West are all I have. Even though I walked away, you should have known I wasn’t staying away long.”
“You and West are more alike than you’d like to think,” Jessie grunted. I arched an eyebrow at him. He shrugged. “You both self-destruct when you’re hurting, lash out at those around you.”
I shook my head. “Doesn’t make what I did right,” I told him. “Sure as fuck doesn’t make it okay.”
He worked his jaw around, contemplating something. I stayed silent, letting him think. He finally released a quiet sigh. “If she can move past this, then I’ll do my damnest to move past it as well.” My shoulders sagged with relief. He narrowed his eyes at me. “Do not fuck up like this again, Lincoln. She needs both of us. It’s no longer a choice for her.”
I nodded and stood up from the couch to go upstairs to check on West. Jessie pulled me into an unexpected hug before I could though. He clapped me on my back. “No matter what the fuck happens between us, Lincoln, know that I’m always someone you can turn to, you got me? I don’t give a fuck how far on the outs we are.”
I swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat. “Thanks,” I roughly told him, meaning it from the bottom of my soul.
Jessie was the brother I’d never had.
I was determined to never fuck this shit up again.
I lost my mom a week ago, and that same night, I almost lost the other part of my family because I was an ass.
I wouldn’t ever run that risk again.
