Page 24 of Love Song


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At practice that night, things were awkward between us, at least until we got into a rhythm, running through the lineup for our next show. We took a break to tinker with other music, and this was where we normally wrote new material.

I was messing around on the bass as a new melody came to me. Nolan stopped fiddling with the amp and picked up his guitar, following my lead. This was when making music was at its best, when we all fed off each other and created a new sound. I began by plucking the first few tones, and the rest followed. Soon enough, Perry and Anthony joined in. My eyes stayed glued to my bandmates so they could follow my tempo changes.

The song had a blues vibe to it, which didn’t surprise them because we’d messed around with all the genres, and I could tell they liked it. It was earthy and soulful, and I even hummed a couple of lines. Nolan was right there with me, on the same wavelength because he began putting words to the melody, and before we knew it, we had the refrain.

That was when I felt the momentum shift between Nolan and me, as our eyes locked and we got into a groove, but I didn’t want Perry to home in on anything between us again.

I looked away, only to have my gaze seek him out again, drawn to him like a moth to a flame. I loved watching him play, how he really gave himself to the music, and his soulful voice gave me chills. It felt electric in the room, just like it had the other night, maybe every night in recent memory. My heart lodged in my throat because all these sensations flooding me felt overwhelming and scary and made me want to flee the room until I understood them better.

We all grinned stupidly when we finished, and Nolan hurried to write the melody down on the musical sheets we kept on a stand in the studio.

When my phone buzzed, I looked down to see a text from Shana. I’d messaged her earlier in the day to ask if she wanted to meet this week, and now I was regretting the decision.

I could feel Nolan’s burning gaze, but I ignored it as I swallowed thickly.

“Did Maris invite you all to the clambake next month?” Anthony asked.

“I don’t think so.” I knew they had one every year, and I’d been wondering if they’d decided to cancel this time around since our fall weather was rainier than anything else.

“Shoot, I forgot to tell you,” Nolan said. “At the bar, our last show. You were a little busy.”

He meant with Shana. I looked away, unable to hold his gaze.

“Cool,” Anthony said. “By the way, anything ever happen with the girl you met that night?” He stood and stretched.

“Uh, yeah,” I said, motioning to my phone. “As a matter of fact, I’m meeting her this week.”

“Nice. Feel free to invite her to the clambake if all goes well.”

“That’s jumping the gun a little, don’t you think?” Nolan asked, a bite to his tone.

“Maybe, maybe not.” Anthony shrugged. “You never know. I was sure about Maris after our first date.”

“You’re lucky it worked out so well.” I winced. “I didn’t have the same luck.”

He thumped my shoulder. “Sorry, dude.”

“Why do you look so bummed?” Perry said to Nolan, and my eyes sprang to his.

“What the hell are you talking about? Stop with the scrutiny already. You’re being fucking weird.”

“Geez, chill out, dude. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Nolan grabbed his coat and headed toward the door. “Catch you later.”

It grew silent after he left.

“What the hell is his problem?” Perry said.

“I could ask you the same question,” I replied. “It’s like you have a bug up your ass lately.”

“I just want to make sure everything is cool between us.”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Just ignore Perry,” Anthony said. “He’s been acting paranoid lately, like you two aren’t telling him something.”

“Everything is fine, Perry. No one is leaving the band if that’s what you’re thinking. Just let it go before you cause a real rift.”

When I got back to my apartment, I considered going up to Nolan’s but held myself back. Instead, I lifted my cell. You okay?

Yeah. Perry just gets on my nerves sometimes.

I hear you. But I think it’s coming from a good place. He’s always nervous about losing a good thing. Ever since Heather left.

Yeah, I know. That message was followed quickly by another. So, a date, huh?

I figure why not.

Hope it works out.

Thanks. I blew out a breath. I’m gonna try and sleep here tonight. On my own. Baby steps.

You can do it.

Thanks, man.

Fuck, why did I feel so melancholy?

The night was awful, and I barely slept, but I made it through. I kept all the lights on and my bedroom door locked. I was shit at school the next day even though I knew it was progress.

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