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Nolan stared into my eyes as if searching for the underpinnings of truth. “Always.”
I kissed him with all I had before bending to devour his cock as he thrashed and bit off curses. Retrieving the lube from the nightstand, I got him ready for me with one, then two fingers in his ass. I watched him with my heart feeling full and achy.
“No condom tonight,” Nolan murmured.
My breath hitched. “Are you sure?”
We’d discussed this possibility after doctor’s visits, and now seemed the perfect time to share something so real and precious with him.
“Very,” he replied, lifting his knees and showing me his pink hole.
Talk about losing my breath. Goddamned beautiful.
I trembled as I lined up my cock to his entrance and pressed inside, filling him slowly and deeply, his moans matching my own. I nipped at his throat and pecs, relishing the snug fit of my bare cock inside his hole.
“Fuck, so good,” I murmured between quick, shallow thrusts as he gripped the underside of his knees and watched me intently. He was tight and hot, and I was absolutely losing my mind, but I tried not to focus on blowing my load inside him.
This was about me showing Nolan that I felt the same way. Giving him what he needed. And right then, he needed me.
I settled on my forearms so that we were breathing the same air and I could look into his eyes as I rocked inside him.
“You’re my love song too.” I kissed his lips as his eyes softened, his cheeks suffused with a rosy flush.
Reaching a hand between us, I gripped his length and stroked him until he began fidgeting. When I reached lower to tug on his balls, his eyes rolled into the back of his head.
“Let go, baby,” I whispered and watched as he unraveled beneath me.
At my next session with Alicia, she asked, “How do you feel this relationship with Nolan compares to the one you had with your ex-wife?”
I’d confided in her about Nolan and me the session before, and she’d been completely supportive. She’d also given me examples of how others had come out later in life, and that was comforting.
“Good question. For one, Nolan and I had a solid foundation of friendship first and have similar interests, so that helps.”
“That would definitely help. What else?”
“I don’t know…this feels different with Nolan, deeper, which only makes my gut tighten with guilt.”
Her eyebrows drew together. “Why?”
“I suppose because I didn’t know what real love felt like until now.”
“Sounds like he didn’t either.”
Alicia had gotten a kick out of hearing what Nolan had done that night. The gift and the song. She said he sounded like a keeper.
“True. Though it still doesn’t feel real that he could feel the same for me as I do for him. And it’s not like I didn’t have an example of a good relationship after my mom left my father. My stepdad treats Mom right.”
“Everyone has those same fears. Plus, the stakes are higher in this relationship.”
“Because we’re a same-sex couple?” I asked, and she nodded. “Yeah, but there’s also this feeling like we’re in this together.”
Suddenly my cell phone started buzzing. I quickly pulled it out of my pocket. “Sorry, I meant to turn it off.” My eyes widened when I looked at the screen. “It’s the police department.”
“By all means, answer it.”
My heart rose to my throat as I pushed the button and listened to the voice on the other end. Unable to believe my ears, I absently got up and started pacing.
“Th-thank you,” I said and ended the call. “They arrested the men who robbed my place. Apparently, in the middle of another break-in. Holy crap.”
Alicia’s eyes brightened, and she clapped excitedly. “I’m thrilled for you, Ellis. Not everybody gets that resolution.”
We talked about what the arrest meant and some other court jargon I’d have to wrap my brain around regarding charges and pleas. I’d have to search for certain keywords to understand it all.
As we finished our session, Alicia asked, “Do you feel different now?”
“That the men who’ve haunted my dreams might end up behind bars?” She nodded. “Yeah, of course, but…”
She waited for a beat. “But?”
“But…would I have been fine had they not? I think so.”
I’d grown as a person and found a new love in the process, so as it turned out, it was a win-win for me.
“Now that’s what I call progress.”
When I got in my car, I called Nolan first to tell him the news, then Harriet.
“Did you hear?” I asked as soon as she answered.
“Yes, I was just about to call you.” Her voice sounded as full of awe as mine likely did.
“Think we’ll have to testify?” The idea made my gut churn. To have to face them again. But I also wanted to look them in the eye.
