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“We’re not broken up.” I finished chewing, then set down my fork. “Perry left the band, and we need to decide what to do next.”
Nolan shrugged as he loaded more mashed potatoes on his plate. “It’s either go on as a trio or find someone new to fill his shoes.”
“That sounds like a tall order,” my stepdad said. “I’m sorry.”
I knew he was apologizing for more than Perry. His delayed response the night Nolan and I told our families we were together weighed on him. He was a good person and felt guilty that it had affected me. But I’d told him more than once that we were all cool. He’d been nothing but supportive ever since.
“No need to be sorry.” Nolan glanced at me. “We can’t control how Perry responds or what he decides to do.”
“That’s right,” I reiterated, hoping that meant my words had stuck. “We did nothing wrong. Nolan performed a new song, and Perry couldn’t deal with the aftermath.”
Like everything we played, the song could’ve been about anyone. We could’ve moved on had Perry gotten over himself long enough to join in. But I’d admit, I liked how it all played out. Having the audience be into it was gratifying. It made me feel like maybe there was hope for everyone that followed. Not that we were trailblazers. Not even close.
“Maybe Perry will come around once he’s thought things through,” my stepdad said, and Mom nodded. “You’ve been friends for years.”
I considered that. “Even if he did have a change of heart, I wouldn’t know how to feel about it.”
“He’d have to have a good enough explanation for why he acted the way he did besides the one he gave that night,” Nolan added. “Otherwise, I don’t know if I could trust him again.”
My stepdad’s expression grew shuttered, that same guilt lining his forehead.
I tapped his hand. “This is different, Dad.”
“I know.” His smile was sad. “I love you, son.”
“We love you both,” Mom added with fondness in her gaze, and pink stripes appeared on Nolan’s cheeks. “Now, eat up so I can feed Nolan some pie.”
Nolan clutched his chest. “You certainly know the way to my heart.”
“Oh, is that all it takes?” I snickered just as his hand reached for my thigh beneath the table, and I trembled at the thought of getting him alone.
31
Nolan
It was the week after New Year’s, and Ellis and I were headed to our practice studio, which felt totally surreal after a two-week break for the holidays.
For Christmas, we’d split time between our families, and it’d worked out great. On New Year’s Eve, we went to a small gathering at Anthony and Maris’s and had our first midnight kiss in public. But it felt odd not having Perry there to annoy us about one thing or another. Somehow the disappointment felt even greater.
When we got to the studio, I couldn’t help picturing Perry’s smirk from behind the keyboard. I hadn’t realized how much I would miss him. We hadn’t seen him since that night, though we’d had plenty of conversations about him and the future of our group.
The three of us struggled to figure out what to do next. We could play on our own as a trio and likely would until we found a replacement on the keyboards or maybe another instrument to shake things up a little.
“Hey there.” I waved to Anthony, who was at his drum set, twirling a stick, which was one of his nervous habits. The mood was subdued without Perry. We were all still in shock that he’d ended up being the biggest douche of all.
“Wanna warm up a bit before Jimmy shows?” Ellis suggested.
“Sounds good.”
We’d put out feelers over the break and had two keyboard players lined up to sit in on practice today. We’d scheduled them ninety minutes apart so we had enough time to experiment with each and think things through in between. We didn’t have high hopes that either of them would work out. It was hard to find someone you meshed with. When Heather left, Anthony coming along had been a fluke after a couple of months of searching for a drummer replacement, but we’d sensed immediately he was the right fit.
We played some of our greatest hits to warm up, and it felt good to place my fingers on the strings again. But the sound was different without the addition of the keyboard and Perry’s talent with the different settings. Still, we were determined to trudge onward because, at the end of the day, we loved music and had a good thing going, with or without Perry.
When the buzzer rang, we punched the code to let Jimmy inside. We’d all seen him around different clubs over the years, so we did a bit of catching up on the music scene first. The thing was, he’d mostly played in punk-rock bands but swore he wanted a change, so we’d see how it went.
