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“All...right.” His voice was hoarse, his accent thicker.
Pollyanna was remembering the same thing, too. She remembered how, before their marriage, he would prop his chin on her head and marvel at how tiny his psaraki was. And when she would pout, he would ruffle her hair and whisper in her ear, “This man of yours is not like any others. This man finds fish like you very, very sexy.”
She remembered so many things, and the sobs started to build inside her again, because what she remembered were so...good. They were so...sweet, which was why seeing him kiss that other woman hurt so much.
Then he started to speak, and as she listened to the words, it just wasn’t possible anymore not to cry.
“That night, when I saw her, I forgot everything but pride.”
Oh God.
She didn’t want to remember this. She didn’t want to remember, please God—-
“And I let her kiss me.”
She pressed her fist harder against her chest.
It. Was. So. Hard. To. Breathe.
“But then I saw you, and I knew I had made the greatest mistake of my life.”
And now it was too late. She wanted to scream the words at him. But she couldn’t. Because even now, it was already taking everything in her just to breathe.
“I’m sorry—-” His voice faltered.
A second later, and she realized that it was because he had been about to call her psaraki.
“I’m sorry, Polly. I’m sorry.”
But she could only cry. She knew she was being petty, and she hated herself and him for it, and she could only cry harder because of it. Who would want to be called a little fish when her husband’s ex was a Hollywood swan? And yes, swans were beautiful, sexy, and elegant, but swans also ate fish like her for breakfast!
The thought was so damn silly, she knew it could only mean she was about to have a breakdown. The thought had her fumbling to press the loudspeaker button before letting the phone fall on her bed. Then she covered her mouth and cried.
Hard.
“I’m sorry, Polly. I’m so damn sorry. I’m sorry.” He could only hear silence, but he knew that was worse because he knew his wife well, and he knew what that meant. He knew how she was feeling now, and it was goddamn killing him that he was the reason for it.
“I’m sorry, Polly...” Her pain devoured him, and he squeezed his eyes shut. “I know the words are meaningless...and inadequate...but I am sorry.”
Her silence, her pain, lashed at him, and his chest tightened at his wife’s suffering.
“Please...” His voice stumbled to a stop. He had almost called her psaraki again. Dragging air into his lungs, he tried one more time to speak. “Polly, don’t let the kiss erase the years we had.” His fingers tightened around his phone. “Come back, my love.”
Pollyanna’s body shuddered. It was his first time to call her that, and he had to know it. But she didn’t know if she could ever believe him, and he had to know that, too.
“Come back, my love,” Kyr repeated doggedly. “Come back, and let me fix things.”
But it was like he was talking to someone who couldn’t hear him.
Trying to keep his desperation at bay, he started to speak. Fast. “Let me fix things for you, let me make it up to you.” He didn’t want to waste a second, knowing she could end the call anytime, and so he told her the truth, even knowing she would doubt him.
“That night...I was planning to surprise you. I had an office built for you, and I was determined to stop being a selfish jerk.
“Those years I stopped you from working, it was because I was terrified...” His laugh was filled with bitterness. “I was goddamn terrified it would be like the past all over again. She left me for her dreams, and then suddenly there you were, practically saying the same things she did, and all I could think was had I chosen – no, had I fallen again for someone who loved her dreams more than she loved me?” He stopped, just so he could breathe, and then he added jerkily, “It took me a while to realize I was wrong. There shouldn’t have been a choice at all.”
He waited, but still she didn’t speak, and the pain of his defeat began to bear down on him.
Was he really too late?
His face ashen, he made himself continue, saying rawly, “Come back, please. Come back, my love, even just...” He closed his eyes. “Even only so I could give you the life you should have had if I hadn’t stolen your childhood and your dreams away. Let me at least just do that for you, before you...”
Ah, God.
He loved her so damn much.
So damn much.
And because he did love her, Kyr said dully, “Let me give you the life you deserve before you leave me.”
