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There’s another pause as she looks me over, and I know she sees right through my bullshit. Her eyebrows pinch together in concern, and it’s obvious she can tell I’m in pain. I just hope she can’t see how bad I’m jonesing for the meds I no longer have access to. I’ve been a fucking mess without them, and it’s getting harder to hide.
“Do you promise to take care of yourself, too?” she asks.
“I have a new buddy now,” I tell her, adjusting the camera so she can see Ranger. “We take care of each other.”
Her voice lifts as she says hello to him, peppering me with a bunch of questions about where I got him. I answer her, leaving out the part about his heart because she sounds so happy. After I drag the camera back to me, Bianca’s expression changes, and her voice becomes hoarse.
“Where are you?”
I can see her scanning the details around me as I shift on the bed, leaning against the headboard.
“Texas.”
“You’re at his house.” She swallows.
“I’m at your house,” I reply, unable to rein in some of the lingering bitterness in my tone.
“Don’t stay there,” she clips the words out forcefully.
“Why?” I stare at her in disbelief.
“Because,” she snaps, “I don’t want you there.”
“Seriously, Bianca?” I glare at her. “What are you afraid of? That I might see you and Adam actually live together? That I might hear all about your wedding plans? The cat’s out of the fucking bag already.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “It’s not about that.”
“What I can’t figure out is why Adam has a drawer full of ropes and a knife. Is that what gets you off?”
She winces at the accusation, but when she answers me, her voice is flat. “He uses those things for boar hunting.”
I feel like an idiot for not considering that earlier. Adam and Stefan have always been avid hunters, but the thought never occurred to me because I was too wrapped up in the other possibilities. Still, I can’t let go of the feeling that something about all of this is off.
“What about the burner phone?” I ask her. “Why are you using this to talk to me? And what’s with the messages you send Adam every couple of hours?”
For a second, she looks almost embarrassed by my questions, but it’s hard to tell in the dim lighting of her bedroom. “It’s just a thing we do. Long distance isn’t easy, so we have to find ways to make it work.”
She sounds like a goddamn robot.
“Tell me the truth,” I bite out. “Are you really happy with this life? Is this what you want?”
She doesn’t answer me, and it only irritates me more.
“You’ve been lying to me from the beginning,” I tell her. “There’s nothing left to lose at this point, so just be honest with me for once. Give me that fucking much. Lay it out and let me hear it straight from your lips.”
“You won’t understand,” she fires back, “so stop trying.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you’re better off without me.” She shifts the phone away from her face, and there’s some rustling before she appears again, all evidence of her emotion wiped away. “I don’t want you involved in that part of my life.”
“Then what the hell do you want?” I ask. “You’re the one who’s been texting me. You’re the one who spews lie after lie about how much you care, and here you go again, giving me fucking whiplash. I can’t keep doing this with you.”
There’s a long gap of silence before she clears her throat and rests the phone on the bed, obscuring my vision of her.
“I want you to leave and never come back.”
Her words hit me harder than I expected, but I don’t show it. I don’t show it for a second.
“Leave my house,” she demands. “I don’t want you there.”
When I don’t respond, her voice escalates.
“Get out! Go somewhere else. Anywhere other than Texas. Make a life for yourself and stay far away from me. That’s what I want you to do.”
“You’re insane.” I stare at the empty screen. “You know that?”
“Just fucking go!” she screams.
“Hey, Bianca.” I hold the phone close to make sure she hears what I’m about to say. “Don’t ever fucking contact me again.”
I disconnect the call, heart pounding, head swimming with anger and frustration. But she isn’t finished yet. A torrent of texts floods in, chiming every two seconds until I throw my phone at the wall and smash it to goddamn pieces.
Ranger barks at me, and guilt consumes me as I glance at him and see the worry in his eyes.
“It’s okay, buddy.” I pat him on the head. “Tomorrow, we’re getting the fuck out of here.”
Chapter 65
Lyric
“Hey!” Birdie bursts through the door, bags hanging from her arms and Gypsy in tow. “Sorry we’re late. I didn’t know my sister was coming, and then there was a whole thing, and we had to get the babysitter set up at my place to watch the kids. You know, the usual craziness.”
