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What can I say, other than I never want to talk? “Thank you.” But she understands, and that’s good, I suppose.
“It’s good to have you back, Lo.” She smiles and disappears into her office as I remove my coat and hang it on the nearby coat stand.
I spend the first hour of my morning filtering through the paperwork that’s landed on my desk in my absence, stacking it in piles of priority. I know anything deemed urgent would have made its way onto Rachel’s desk, so there’s nothing pressing to deal with.
When Scarlett presents herself at my desk again sometime later, I look up at her in question. “Everything okay?” I ask.
“Do you have my business card statement for last month?”
I cock my head. “Why’d you not call me for it?” She never comes to my desk.
She shrugs and looks down at her shoes. “Trying to break them in.”
“Really?” I dip my head and look up through my lashes with all the suspicion I feel. She’s checking up on me. What happened to understanding? I don’t want to talk! I want to forget!
She huffs and stamps her foot a little. “You just look so drained. I don’t want to expect too much of you when . . .” She trails off, and I fall back in my seat.
I look drained? What, more drained than usual? Because that must mean I look pretty much dead. “Scarlett, I wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t do my job.”
“I know that.” She pulls up a chair to my desk and sits down, taking my hand. I’m a bit taken aback. I’ve never known her to be so attentive. Quietly concerned, yes, but I thought she knew I’m better off being left to get on with my job rather than having unwanted pity poured all over me. She smiles cheekily. “You wouldn’t be here, because I’d fire your arse if you couldn’t do your job.”
“Good to know,” I quip, laughing under my breath. “Listen, Scarlett, I’m sorry about my unexpected time off, but—”
“This isn’t about that, Lo. It’s about your personal health. Good God, woman, you’re wasting away before my eyes.”
My lips straighten. “I’m fine.”
“You’re always fine. It’s infuriating.” She squeezes my hand in hers and stands. “I just want you to know your job isn’t going anywhere. If you need time, take time.”
“Thank you, Scarlett.” I hope I sound as grateful as I feel. “But, really, all I want to do is distract myself as best I can and work helps with that.”
“I understand.”
“You already said that. And here you are talking.”
She rolls her eyes and returns to her office. “Fine. No more talking.”
I smile, continuing to power through the work I have to catch up on, and the day passes by in the blink of an eye.
As I’m packing up ready to head home, my phone rings, and I look blankly at the screen as Penny’s name presents itself to me. I consider ignoring her call, but I imagine the four of them have been ringing each other off the hook for most of the day discussing the events of last night. I should put their minds to rest. “Penny,” I say as I get up and wave through to Scarlett, signaling I’m leaving. She waves a flippant hand at me, and I start toward the elevators.
“Lo, I don’t know what to say,” she breathes, clearly struggling. Now I’m imagining them all tossing coins to determine who will be the lucky one who calls me.
“You don’t have to say anything, Penny. It is what it is.” I swallow down the lump before it has a chance to grow. “He’s deteriorating by the day and there’s nothing more the doctors can do.”
“God, Lo, how are you coping?”
I press my lips together to stop myself from spilling my confession, from telling Penny that it was so much easier when I had a friend to lean on. Not just any friend. I know I wouldn’t get the same comfort from any of the four of them, because they know. They’re all aware of the mess Billy and I are in, and they would all drown me in that wretched sympathy I don’t want. I just wanted someone to treat me like I’m me, and Luke did that. He struggled, I know, but he fought his curiosity to know the deal, because he knew I needed that. But now? Now he knows. He’ll never look at me the same again. My respite has gone. “You just . . . cope,” I say, hearing her sigh. I haven’t coped at all. Not really.
“Lo, I know what your answer will be, but just know that we’ll fight you on it all the way.”
“What?” I ask, reaching the lift. I press the call button.
“Helen and I are going for cocktails tonight. We want you to come. Lord knows, you need some time for yourself, and I’m just so sorry we’ve been so absent.”
