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But then he wrapped one arm around my waist and the other across my chest, trapping my arms.
There was nothing else I could do as he pulled me backward, dropping his ass onto the bed, and holding me on his lap.
It was there, with his cock pressing against me, that the sick reality of the situation dawned on me.
Ben.
Ben and Jim.
Where Ben had always been like my fun-loving uncle, quick to bring me ice cream or little gifts from some place he traveled, Jim had always been like that creepy uncle so many people had. The one who looked too long. The one who said things or did things that made you uncomfortable.
And not just me.
My dad.
And considering how messed up my father was a lot of the time, how oblivious he was to life, it said something that even he noticed.
So much so that he told Jim that he didn’t want him around me anymore. And then he’d told Ben that he wasn’t welcome around me if Jim was with him.
We still saw Jim from time to time. At stops and whatnot. But it was few and far between, and he never got close.
It never would have crossed my mind that Ben was sick like his brother too.
I guess he was just better at hiding it.
Because if he could hide it, he could get and stay close, he could get my guards down.
“Ben, don’t do this,” I pleaded, hoping I hadn’t been entirely wrong about him, that there was a chance I could get to him, that maybe he was just under the influence of his crazy brother. “We’ve always been so close,” I added.
“And now we can be closer,” he said, his words in that same, familiar tone making my stomach roll, the contents making their way up my throat.
I wasn’t stupid.
I knew what he meant by closer.
If I had any doubts, there was Jim’s expectant dick pressing against me.
“I’ve always loved you, you know,” Ben said. “Even when it was wrong,” he added, making me need to swallow hard to choke down the sick. “Jim did too. But your daddy didn’t like him around you.”
Because he used to stroke my hair and show me the naked girl playing cards he kept in his rig.
Okay.
No.
I needed to focus.
Focus.
I wasn’t alone in the world anymore.
I had Voss. I had the club, the princesses, Junior. Hell, I even had Perish.
They would find out I was missing eventually. Russ would notice I wasn’t around. He would call Voss. Then everything would be in motion.
I just had to delay things, get them distracted.
I didn’t have a lot of hope for Jim whose hand had shifted so it could graze my boob.
I needed not to think about that.
So I just disconnected from my body, focusing instead on what was in my head.
“Where’s Irwin?” I asked, looking up at Ben, whose gaze went into the rearview.
“Irwin?”
“My Blue Tongue Skink,” I clarified.
“Oh, right. Yeah. Jim is taking care of him. He knows you will want him while you’re with us.”
With them?
So this wasn’t a rape and murder situation?
Did they think I would be, like, their shared girlfriend or something?
That was a whole different kind of warped. That was some true-crime podcast-worthy shit.
Except, of course, I was not going to be their girlfriend. I was going to get myself out of this. Barring that, Voss was going to get me out of this. I refused to entertain any other reality.
“He’s okay?”
“‘Course he is,” Ben said, nodding for emphasis.
“Know you got him ‘cause of me,” Jim said, speaking for the first time, and I swear the sound was so slimy that it felt like it coated me head to toe.
“What?” I asked, trying to seem calm and interested, even if every inch of me wanted to start screaming and pray someone would hear me.
“You remember,” Jim insisted. “When you first met me, you traced your finger over my tattoo.”
Right.
Yeah.
He had a chameleon tattoo on his arm.
I mean, a chameleon and a skink were two different things. And I never bought Irwin, just saved him from a bad situation.
“Did you ever have one?” I asked, swallowing hard to try to make my voice sound softer, sweeter. “A chameleon?” I asked.
“When I was a kid. My old man, he got mad at me. Tossed him off the roof of the apartment building.”
Jesus Christ.
No wonder he was fucked in the head with a father like that. It wasn’t an excuse, but it never failed to amaze me how cruel people could be.
“I’m sorry. That wasn’t right,” I said.
“We wouldn’t hurt Irwin,” Ben insisted. “He’s important to you.”
“But why did you take him before you…” I caught myself before I said Took me. If I was going to make it out of this, I had to play along. “Before you came to get me?”
