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He huffed out a pained laugh. He should have known better. He’d been so busy putting her on a pedestal, he hadn’t stopped to ask what she wanted. Worse. He’d ignored what she’d wanted in favor of his own desires being met.
She hadn’t picked him.
If he hadn’t forced the issue, if he’d just stayed in the place she’d designated for him, he could have maintained their friendship. Would it be painful watching her marry another man? Fuck yes. It would have ripped his still-beating heart out of his chest to smile and congratulate her on picking a man who’d do as a husband.
But less painful than standing there, realizing he was never going to see her again.
Lucy wandered the streets for hours. She’d intended to go home, but the thought of four walls closing her in was too much to bear. It wasn’t any better on the street—the city itself boxed her into place, preventing her from running until she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, was too tired to process the level of Gideon’s betrayal.
He blamed himself for not telling her about Jeff’s cheating sooner. She knew that. She’d even used that to ensure he wouldn’t say no to helping her.
She’d also foolishly assumed that, when push came to shove, he’d get over it.
Lucy looked up and breathed a sigh that wasn’t quite relief. She dug out her phone and called. Her sister answered on the first ring. “What’s up?”
“I don’t suppose you’re home?”
All joking disappeared from Becka’s voice. “Yes. What’s wrong? What happened?”
Burning started in her throat, making it hard to swallow. “Buzz me up?”
“Yeah, right away.”
She hung up before her sister’s concern had her breaking down in the street. The walk up the rickety stairs to the tiny apartment Becka insisted she loved was a lesson in torture. As if her body knew she was almost safe and had decided now was the perfect time to break down completely.
Becka opened the door as she lifted her hand to knock. Her sister wore a pair of brightly printed workout pants and a sports bra with more straps than was strictly necessary. Lucy stopped short. “You have class.”
“I already got someone to cover for me, so don’t even think of turning around.” She stepped back. “Now, get in here and tell me everything while I make some tea I threw together this weekend.”
That almost brought a smile to Lucy’s face. “Is it better than the last batch?”
“The last batch was the exception to the rule, though thank you very much for reminding me of it.” She made a face. “I couldn’t get the taste of licorice out of my mouth for days, no matter how many times I brushed my teeth and drowned myself in mouthwash.”
“Live and learn.” Her voice caught, because living and learning was exactly what Lucy hadn’t done. She’d been so sure she knew her path, and yet the first chance she had to take a detour that would ruin everything, she’d jumped in headfirst.
“Sit. Immediately.” Becka took her coat and purse and tossed them onto the threadbare couch. Then she guided Lucy into a chair at the small dining room table and headed for the stove. The loft apartment meant Lucy only had to rotate a little to keep her sister in view.
Becka got hot water going in an ancient-looking kettle and doled out loose leaf tea into two wire tea steepers. The few minutes it took to get the water boiling was enough to calm Lucy’s racing thoughts a little. “I’m sorry to drop in like this.”
“What are sisters for if not to be there when you need them?” Becka poured the hot water into two mugs and brought them to the table. “This is about Gideon.”
She started to deny it, but what was the point? She’d locked down everything after the Jeff fiasco, and all it had done was completely isolate her from the world. Maybe talking through it with her sister was the right choice.
“I... He changed the rules on me. I had a fully fleshed-out plan, and every intention of following through on it, but I didn’t anticipate him. Our connection. He showed every evidence of wanting more with me—we even talked about it and he said so in as many words—and then I wake up this morning to find him gone.” She had to stop and focus on breathing for several moments. Even with the break, when she spoke again, her voice was strained. “I thought we were meeting tonight, but when I showed up to dinner, he’d set me up with another man.”
Becka’s blue eyes, so like Lucy’s, went wide. “I think you’re going to have to rewind to the part when you woke up alone. You had sex with Gideon?”
She’d left out that part of the plan, hadn’t she? Lucy cleared her throat and stared at the ever-darkening water of her tea. “We’ve been sleeping together since the initial agreement. It started out as a way to get my confidence back sexually, but things...changed.”
