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“That’s wonderful,” Jessica enthused, not surprisingly the first to respond. “I’m sure Frank and Leon will be delighted by that news. I’m proud of you.” She gave my dad as pointed of a look as I’d ever seen between them. “Aren’t we?”
“Knox.” Ignoring Jessica, Dad groaned. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. A chance to go to an Ivy, to have your future set, to never have to worry about money or making ends meet.”
I opened my mouth to curse. Closed it. Opened my lips again on an angry huff of air. “I’m so sorry I ruined your life by being born.”
“What? You didn’t ruin my life. You’re the best”—he glanced at Jessica—“one of the best things to ever happen to me.”
“You’re always going on about how because you had a kid at eighteen, you had to go to community college, struggle with bills, and eat cheap food.”
“Well, we did.” He threw up his hands. “And we—all of us, me, your mom, Jessica, Candace—sacrificed where we could so you’d have a better future.”
“I get that, and I’m not unappreciative, but do you hate being a cop that much?”
“I have no idea what this has to do with you and graduate school, but I don’t.” Dad’s whole face wrinkled like I was taxing his every last brain cell. “Law enforcement is in my blood like art and drawing has always been in yours. I love being a cop. I can’t imagine doing anything else.”
Well, that was at least moderately reassuring. He wasn’t doing work he hated on my behalf. And he saw the creativity in my soul. I tried to force my facial muscles to relax, maybe even smile.
“See, the way you feel about law enforcement, that’s me and home remodeling. I love it. I love helping people refresh their spaces, like working with budgets, and love being able to set my own schedule.” I’d come to see over the course of the summer how much that mattered to me. I simply wasn’t a big corporate firm sort of guy, and the image of Worth Stapleton, all burned out in his fancy suit in downtown San Francisco, loomed large in my head. I didn’t want to become an empty hull in some big-city high-rise. I knew who I was and where I belonged. “I don’t need a ton of money, and I want time for other projects like fine art too.”
“You’re good at it. But you can always be an architect specializing in remodels.” Dad waved a hand like he remotely understood what I’d been saying. “If you pass on graduate school now, you might not have a second chance. Life has a funny way of getting complicated fast. You’ll see when you’re older.”
“I’m an adult now.” Pushing myself up off the floor, I stood in front of him. Deliberately. I was taller now, and he knew it. I wore bigger shoes, drank better beer than him, and probably knew more about wine and current politics for this year’s election.
“Not exactly—” The man was going to make me burst a vessel in my tense neck right there. I cut him off with a loud harrumph.
“I’m twenty-three, not ten. I’m not drawing skyscrapers and superheroes in your basement, and I haven’t in forever. I’m an adult, and I have an amazing opportunity to run and eventually own a successful, established business.”
“You don’t know what you’re giving up.” Dad’s face was bright red, and I couldn’t tell whether he was closer to tears or rage.
“And you don’t know me.”
“You—” Dad raised a hand, fingers tightening. Anger. He was definitely angry, but Jessica made a sharp noise before he could continue.
“Rob. Think. Don’t say something you can’t take back later.”
“Sorry.” He dropped his hand. “We shouldn’t be fighting in front of Jessica. And you shouldn’t get Jessica all worked up with this impulsive decision.”
“Trust me that Knox isn’t the one getting me worked up,” Jessica said dryly.
“You’re supposed to be resting.” Dad glared at us both.
“And I am. Knox made sure I had a delightful afternoon.” She gestured at the nest I’d made for her in the rocker. “The nursery is all finished now, and I can’t wait to meet our new baby. Whom we will love unconditionally. College or not, circus juggler or future cop. Come on, Rob. Tell Knox you love him.”
Dad clamped his lips together and shook his head sorrowfully. And that was all the answer I needed to head for the door.
“I’m out of here. Love you, Jessica.”
“Knox!” Dad called after me, but it was too little, too late for whatever he wanted to say.
My pulse didn’t slow down until I pulled back into the driveway at Monroe’s.
Home. I’d driven here on autopilot, trusting the car to take me where I needed to be. Here. This was home, or at least it could be if Monroe would let it. Let. I was allowing that word to do far too much work, waiting passively for Monroe to wake up.
