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Skylar seemed shocked by my reaction. Honestly, I was shocked by it.
“I don’t know. You seem…lost in thought. Like something might have happened.”
I shrugged while I tried to play it off. “I told him I really needed to get some work done.”
Wyatt wasn’t buying it. “I thought you’d mentioned going out to dinner with him.”
“I totally forgot about a project I have to do. He offered to help, but I told him to go to the gym instead.”
Lies.
I couldn’t tell them what had really happened. That, after my orgasm, I’d broken down, crying, and told Zeb about Mitch. The cheating. How he was the only guy I’d ever been with. Zeb had been a gentleman and held me while I cried. Then, the guilt had set in, and I’d flipped out and demanded that Zeb leave. I was positive I’d made him feel like he had forced me to do something I didn’t want to do. The look on his face had said it all. He probably thought I was batshit crazy.
Skylar got that look on her face, the one where she didn’t believe a word I had said. “Your face is flushed.”
I swallowed hard. “I’m fine.” My voice cracked. Damn it.
Skylar caught my stare. “Michelle, did Zeb do something to you?”
“If he did, I’ll kick his damn ass,” Wyatt said as he balled his fists.
“He was a perfect gentleman. I don’t know why you don’t like him, Wyatt.”
With a snort, Wyatt put the orange juice in the refrigerator. “I have my reasons. I don’t fully trust the guy.”
My stomach twisted and turned. I thought back to earlier when things had gotten so heated between Zeb and me. It was mutual, no doubt, but a part of me had wished I had been with Mitch and not Zeb.
I reached for my purse and backpack. “I’m heading to the library.”
“What? Why? You don’t have to leave,” Skylar said.
Wyatt pulled out more junk food. “If Michelle wants to go to the library, let her, Sky. She already said she had a project to work on.”
Wow, that was subtle.
Deep down, I knew Wyatt didn’t like me being here. I couldn’t blame him. I threw a wrench into their privacy and took Skylar away from him sometimes.
Forcing yet another smile, I stated, “Y’all have fun. I’ll text when I’m on my way back.”
Skylar stepped in front of me. “You don’t have to leave, Michelle.”
“I know, Sky. I really need to get some research done for a project.”
Her eyes searched mine. “We’ll talk later?”
It was like she had a way of looking into my soul and knowing when it was troubled.
I forced the tears back. I wasn’t going to ruin their time alone. I concentrated on keeping my voice even and nonchalant. “Sure, if you want to.”
When she was satisfied I wasn’t going to fall apart, she hugged me and stepped out of the way. I couldn’t get out of the apartment fast enough. Those last few moments I stood there, it felt like the walls were closing in on me.
The second I stepped out into the fresh air, I dragged in a breath.
What is the matter with me?
I felt dirty all of a sudden. Like I couldn’t stand to be in my own skin. Almost as if I had…cheated on someone.
But you liked it.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I shook my head. “No,” I whispered.
You wanted him.
My chest tightened. It was Mitch I wanted, but he had hurt me so deeply.
Revenge was what you were after.
A sob slipped from between my lips as I kept my eyes closed. My memory took me back to Zeb’s lips on mine. His hands on my body.
You. Liked. It.
My body began to tingle as I let myself relish in the memory of my body letting go under Zeb’s touch. The ache in my chest was just as evident. My emotions were a mixture of pleasure and pain. I’d enjoyed Zeb making me feel good, but it had torn my heart apart at the same time. It pained me, knowing that another man had been so intimate with me. Another man besides Mitch.
Mitch.
“Michelle?”
My eyes snapped open, and I sucked in a breath as I saw Mitch standing in front of me.
“Wh-what are you…why are you here?” Everything was spinning as I tried to focus on him.
“You said my name.”
Widening my eyes in horror, I wondered what else I had said out loud. “What?”
He took a step closer. “You said my name, but you had your eyes closed, so you didn’t see me walk up.”
My mouth opened, but nothing came out. Not more than one minute ago, my body had been on fire as I thought about Zeb’s touch, and now, it felt like a ton of cold water was being poured over my head.
Guilt. Shame. Regret.
It all swirled around in my heart as I stood there, stunned.
